Thursday, March 24, 2011

A New Name & A New Way of Thinking

Last night as I started to post this entry, a thunderstorm came through with ferociousness.  There was hail and sleet and lots of electricity zipping around.  My husband came down and asked me to shut down my computer in case we lost power.  I did it but wondered, "Was God trying to show me something else before I made an entry?"  Then this morning during Bible study with our family, He did.
"Man-Yu Chen, you shall be called Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail."
I pray this every morning over Peter.  I was asking God one day about how He would build His church on my son?  Peter, the apostle, was one thing but how did this scripture apply to our little boy with DS?  God, through this whole process, has been broadening my human horizons and revealing prejudices with truth and light.  The same grace that saved me was about the saving of Peter.  What is it Lord?  What?

(Back Story 1)  We wanted to call Eliot, Eliot Peter Inglin.  We were convinced that was how it would go.  Eliot, spelled like my husband's favorite poet T.S.Eliot, was our first choice for a boy's name when I was pregnant with our first child Emily.   Eliot's mother named him Javier (Xavier) which meant "bright splendid new home".  We had to keep that.  And what about Thomas?  That was a family name from Thom's heritage.  We came up with Eliot Javier Tomas Inglin.  We were so thrilled.  But what about Peter?  Peter was my first choice for a boy's name, so HEY!, did that mean we were going to adopt another boy? Sure did!

So why couldn't God use Peter to do great things for Him?  With men things are impossible, but with God all things are possible.  Why not?  I wanted an answer.  God gave me a picture something like this.
"Peter was playing with the other children in children's ministry at our church.  Eliot, his big brother, and all his friends had invited Peter to participate in something unworthy of godly children.  Peter softly and quietly rose up and walked over to his brother.  He spoke quietly to Eliot reminding Eliot of his real purpose on this earth.  This gave Eliot boldness to then talk to the others and to redirect the activity in question.  Peter patted Eliot on the back and said, "that pleases God Eliot, and that makes me happy!"  Eliot hugged Peter and the other kids rallied around Peter patting him on the back.  The kids went on to do something worthy of praise."
God showed me again that my view was too narrow.  No, Peter probably won't be a major force in the broader picture or Christendom, but he would be an anchor to those around him, including his brother Eliot.  Peter would evoke a desire in others around him to want to be better.  They would not want to disappoint him and the One who created them.  The cool thing to me was that the inclusion of Peter was because of God.  God had given him that place to fill and only Peter could fill it.  My heart soared.  Tears filled my eyes.  God's ways are truly higher than mine.

(Back Story 2)  Soon after we were into the process of adopting Peter, you know, home study and all that entails, my husband took me out on a date.  It was in a little town in Pennsylvania off the beaten track.  Brooks Williams, one of our favorite Singer/Songwriters was performing and I was thrilled.  While we waited for the show to begin, I was asking God if Peter would be able to receive and understand the Gospel; to be saved.  As we waited for the show to begin a man, woman and adult DS man walked in and sat in front of us.  There was a lot of love between them.  The concert began but I couldn't take my eyes off of that family.  God was answering my question - I just knew it.  A break came and the woman walked in front of me to get a beverage.  I asked her if she wouldn't mind me asking a personal question.  I explained that we were adopting a child with DS and asked her about her son.  As it turned out, his name was John and he was her brother-in-law.  She beamed, and told me all about him.  John came over and introduced himself to me.  I was overcome by his gentle manner and direct gaze.  He told me that he loved Jesus, would only read the Bible and quoted all of Psalm 33 from memory.  He shared that he played the piano on the worship team in his church and sang a song to me.  Then he was done.  Got up, found his brother and hugged him and eagerly anticipated the next set.  God really likes to answer prayers!

God has also used this precious one to illustrate the gospel to me.  He showed me Peter in the orphanage with his creature needs being met.  He has food, drink, clothing and interactions with care givers.  He does not know that a family is waiting for him, desiring to make him apart of their lives.  He doesn't know that soon, by God's grace, life for him will include a forever family, a new name, a new life, a future in Christ and hope.  Because of God's plan for Peter, he will never face a life that will lead to death.  Then God tied that together with my life prior to salvation.  I didn't know how much I needed to be a part of His family.  My earthly needs were met yet my soul was dead.  I didn't see that only eternal death was up ahead for me if I wasn't adopted, .  I only saw what was right in front of me.  Praise God, He did not leave me there.  He chose me with all my disabilities and He is choosing Peter, with his disabilities to be apart of the bigger story.  The story of salvation.

My friend Jim Daniels has a theory about DS folks.  One night recently he tearfully shared his thoughts with me and Thom.  He thinks that people with DS here on this earth might be delayed and different but because of their child-likeness Jim thinks they will be the ones teaching in heaven; that when we look in their faces here on this earth, we should see the face of God.  Again, more tears.

(Back Story 3) When we realized we were going to adopt this little lamb we lined ourselves up with a DS support group that meets right around the corner from us.  We asked the leader, Donna Wolf, if it would be alright for us to just come out even though we didn't have our child yet.  We were warmly welcomed by this incredible group of people.  We are so grateful.  They have openly shared their hearts and stories with us, pointed us to good resources, invited us to their Christmas party and let us hang out with them.  Every time we meet, I encounter ordinary heroes doing extraordinary things.  Every time I walk away I am thankful for the opportunity to learn from them and to be called their friends.

How has all this changed my thinking?  Peter will come home and receive a forever family and all that includes.  We, on the other hand, will be learning a whole new way to live that will permeate all other parts of us.  We are gaining, if you will, an extra chromosome that will make every normal way of living different.  And God will be in it all.  The heavens cannot contain our God and I know that with every new experience with Peter and his DS we will find God showing us something else that is AWESOME about Himself.  Joy these days seems to be splashing out.

Man-yu has received a new name "Peter" and we have been blessed with the beginning of new ways of thinking.  Thank you God.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Praying Powerful Prayers!

Just an update!  This morning during family devotions I cried out to the Lord in prayer with tears for some news or encouragement regarding our son Peter.  God loves answering these kinds of prayers.  God doesn't always answer so quickly, so this was a very specific gift to me.  First, we heard from the IRS that our tax money would be in the bank tomorrow!  My husband Thom had some concerns about that because of all the delays he had been reading about on the different yahoo groups we belong to.

 Second, after our dear friends left from our play date, Thom came to show me new pictures of our boy being introduced to our family via the photo album, video and two gifts we sent to him.  His Care givers were amazed at how interested Peter was in the video and photos.  Of course, I just wept tears of joy and started humming praises to my Abba! 

Soon we will travel to get Peter and a whole other part of the journey will begin.  But what we have experienced in the earlier parts of this journey and all the God-made sanctification will always be my favorite part.  God is doing something bigger, and I am so happy that He has included us.

So pray big prayers to the Only One who can answer them.  He loves to lavish grace upon grace on His children.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Pennies, Nickles and Dimes: Fundraising at God's Best!

A little boy come up to the table at church.  We were selling leftover baked goods from our big Yard Sale/Bake Sale fundraiser held on black Saturday, November, 2010.  I could tell he was hungry.  Church was over and lunch was in the balance for many families.  I asked him,
"Do you want something from these baked goods?"
"I don't have any money, just this penny in my pocket.  That won't help bring Peter home will it?"
"Yes, I think it will be very helpful in bringing Peter home."
"Really?  Here's my penny then.  I would like a bag of cookies please."
Before the little guy walked away with the bag of cookies I thanked him for being a real super hero to our son and how excited I was to tell Peter all about him and his penny.  He stopped and looked in my eyes and I saw tears there.  He then said how he wanted to do that for more orphans and thanked me and went on his way.  A little time later, a whole lot of pennies, nickles and dimes came our way from many other children attending that day.  I told them all the same things.  They all smiled.  We raised $85 dollars in 45 minutes that day, not just with coins but God was showing me something again.

(Back Story 1) By July 2010, we had exhausted our cash paying up front adoption costs.  $900 dollars loomed up ahead for Immigration costs.  We had emailed and then called a family member who had, in the past, been generous to us.  We were met with silence.  What we learned from Financial Peace University was ringing in our ears so we didn't re-mortgage the house AGAIN!  Fundraising wasn't even on the radar screen.  But God. . .

Our church family came through for us and we were able to come up with the $900 we needed to get the ball rolling with Immigration.  We also found out that grants and loans would not be available to us until after a completed home study and matching approval from the country.  BCS (Bethany Christian Services) told us that we also needed to pay their costs by a certain date which was over $6,000.  God, what are we going to do?

God answered that prayer in an email sent to us from our SW (Social Worker).  It had lists of ideas for fundraising.  I have to tell you, that was not the answer we were looking for.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, God was using this adoption process to expose the idol of ease and comfort and boy did this turn of events make us cry out!  YIKES!!! Not fundraising! 

We opened the email and carefully read each listing and as we did, God, in His great kindness, began to show us which ones to do.  God gave us creative names for each event, people to help and people to participate.  He warned us not to look down on the "widow's mite" but to look up and see the bigger picture.  God was doing something more than just bringing home our little boy!  He was stirring a people and making them aware that millions of children are out in this world that need a home.  Probably more than we will ever know about.  We were jazzed and excited!  So enter the world of fund raising.

This is probably not news to most of you, but many times, you plan and inform and remind.  You go to bed late, wake early and pray really hard for each event.  Because God was putting to death our idol of ease and comfort, no event ever made as much as we thought.  Sometimes it was downright discouraging and we found ourselves crying out to God, "Where will the rest of the money come from?"  God just reminded us, that He was doing a bigger work and to keep making the effort and not to despise the widow's mite.

(Back Story 2)  Shortly after we looked into the list of fundraisers sent to us by our SW, we picked one and planned for it.  We set some goals and sent them back to BCS to let them know that we were in the process of raising the money needed to satisfy their costs.  We thought for sure that until we raised the entire amount, our case would be put on hold and that burdened our hearts.  But God. . .Soon after we sent the email with an outline of how we were going to raise the money, BCS came back to us and offered to let us make payments each month, specified by them, and the final amount due before the end of the year.  This way our paperwork process would not be stopped as we found ways to raise the money.  Awesome God!

God began to show us the bigger picture through each fundraiser.  Our first series of fundraisers were called "Date Nights for Dollars" where parents dropped off their kids for a four hour period to go on a date and we played with and fed their kids.  Each time we were able to tell the children the gospel reason why we were adopting and how they were helping bring home Peter.  All during these times we had at least one or two of the kids ask us in private about Peter and to explain more about how they were helping.  Many times when the parents came back to collect the children we would have conversations about the process and share what God had been showing us.  We often heard how much of a burden was being put on their hearts to adopt as well.

(Back Story 3) At the end of August's and September's fund raisers we came up short for the payment to BCS.  Our daughters came to us and told us that they wanted to make up the difference out of their own money that was being saved for a car or college.  We refused, at first, but they insisted.  They said,
"What good is this money doing sitting in the bank when our brother is in an orphanage needing to come home!  Sorry Dad and Mom, God told us to do it and we will obey!" 
October went the same way.  We were very short that month and dear friends called and told us that they knew why they had been saving some money all this time.  It was to bring our Peter home.  It was the exact amount we were short.

We had a professional photographer taking photos for us giving a portion of her earnings to us.  We never expected the amount she gave us.  One of our church families told us about Just Love Coffee and encouraged us strongly to check it out.  (We are big coffee drinkers and she knew we would identify with it!)  Finally, in November we had planned our most extensive fundraiser.   We planned to have a Yard Sale/Bake Sale the Saturday after the Thanksgiving holiday.  We advertised, asked for items to be donated, canvased neighborhoods with flyers.  Our doubts were loudly ringing in our ears.  But God wasn't done weaving the tapestry of our adoption story yet.  He had a few more threads to add.

(Back Story 4) I saw the holidays fast approaching and I just wanted to have a breather for Christmas.  We had already decided that Peter was our families Christmas gift this year so that made Christmas a bit easier.  So I asked the only One who could give us a break if He would bless our yard sale/bake sale so that we might be able to spend the month of December celebrating Jesus' birth.  God loves to powerfully answer our prayers.

The Yard Sale was a huge success.  We made enough with the proceeds of the Yard Sale/Bake Sale in combination with eBay sales and personal donations to pay off the remaining balance to BCS with $500 towards the Country costs.  It was exactly the amount God had promised we would make.  We didn't price things outrageously either.  It became clear to us how important it was that everyone no matter how much they had or didn't have would be able to participate in Peter's homecoming.  It was in the midst of celebrating our Lord's birthday that we began to say,
"Peter will be brought home with pennies, nickles and dimes."
That inspired the next fund raiser using Chinese food containers with Peter's pictures on them.  Matching approval came at the end of January and so did a grant from BCS's Caring Connections.  In February we sent over 50 Chinese food containers home with families from our church and told them we would collect them at the end of the month.  It was amazing how much was collected at the end of February.  Again, everyone from the oldest in our church to the youngest participated.  They could all own that they helped to bring Peter home. 

More and more rumblings of thoughts about adoption came our way from other folks.  God was doing something bigger than just bringing home our little man!  He was cultivating a heart for adoption in our church family.  One way or another, people were touched and if it wasn't for working together doing fund raising, with us/for us, perhaps people wouldn't have gotten a front row seat to the process.  Perhaps people never would've entertained the possibilities of adopting themselves.  I don't know for sure!  It's all too big for me to figure.  I just know the One who does know!

We still have more to raise and we are looking forward to all the new lives we will come in contact with.  God will do it and I am looking forward to being amazed yet again how He can take pennies, nickles and dimes to redeem a little orphan, to knit an already close knit church family closer, and stir people to give other little ones a forever home.

Fund Raisers:
Date Nights for Dollars:  watching children while parents go out on dates
Portraits for Peter: photographer donating a portion of proceeds to adoption
2 Yard Sales: donated items, reasonably priced, local paper advertisement, door to door leaflets
2 Bake Sales: donated baked goods sold resonably
Just Love Coffee: on-line coffee shop donates $5 each coffee purchase
Christmas Concert: annual Poinsettia show @ Glick's Greenhouse
Donation tin Can:  each event we had a tin can just for donations
Chinese Food Containers: pennies, nickles and dimes!  Chinese because Peter is from Hong Kong

We want to thank our beautiful daughters for all the ways they have supported bringing their brothers home.  Christ Community Church, you are the very best of all the people we could call family.  No one can feel like an orphan very long with you in the picture.  CB you are the very best brother Thom and I have ever known.  Your Pastoral care is precious to us.  Thank you for all of your help, love and prayers.  We are so excited to bring Peter home to meet you all.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Just Wanted to Say. . .

THANK YOU!!!!  Thank you for all the encouraging words.  We don't know who has given to our adoption of Peter but we are grateful for your generosity.  I hope that one day when we will be called home and Jesus is speaking individually to us and rewarding our works on earth, that I can hear Him say,
"You helped bring home Peter Inglin and you did it in secret.  That so pleased me.  Here is your reward."
I can't wait to run up to you and hug you all and meet the ones who would love God so much, that they would donate to our adoption.

We have so much to be grateful for.  Through fund raising, and generous donations, we have met all the Bethany Christian Agency costs!  God even knew that when our Megan turned 18 in January, and Immigration caught it, we would need an additional $450!  That money came in the mail the week we were informed of it's need.  God is the best provider, working all things together for His glory.

We are waiting to travel.  We don't even know what that might look like or when, but we know that we will have folks praying for us like YOU!  It seems that travel is expensive and that we are looking at $6,000 - $8,000.  We have a few more fund raisers up our sleeves.  Mostly, we need powerful prayers lifted up on our behalf to the only One who can answer each request perfectly and on time. 

I just wanted to say thank you in advance . . .

Thursday, March 10, 2011

My Attachment Disorder

(I want to tread carefully with this topic because some really dedicated men and women have given themselves to the study of adoptive children both internationally and domestically, to train and educate adoptive parents on the issue of attachment.  I respect the hours of observation and research that has been given to this topic.  I am not an expert on the topic, I am just looking for a biblical meaning and am sharing what has blessed me and may bless you as well.

This is our second adoption through Bethany Christian Services (BCS).  I wouldn't want to go through another organization, not that I know to much about other organizations, because of the extensive training and support they give their families.  When Eliot arrived home, our Social Worker (SW) was there to help us see Eliot and to appropriately help him identify with us as his forever family.  By the time Eliot was 16 months old and we had the last of our follow-up visits with BCS the staff could see that our son was an Inglin!  Thom was his Daddy, I was his mama and the girls were his sisters.  I am grateful for all the useful information and study of adoptive children through the years.  It has helped us identify times when Eliot has struggled and it has made the scripture, "Train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is older he would not depart from it."  By God's grace Eliot came to us differently than our girls.  And with that difference comes a responsibility to help Eliot see God's marvelous divine plan of how God brought him into this world, (his birth story) and His purpose of making Eliot an Inglin and by God's grace His child. 

We are adopting our son Peter using Bethany again.  And a little thought keeps niggling at me, what is the biblical word for attachment disorder.  It's a responsibility of mine as God's child to give a reason for what I believe and then pass it on to my children.  So I did what any daughter of God would do, I sought Him out in prayer for an answer and it came a little like this.

JI Packer's book, Knowing God, was edited into a year-long devotional tool that my husband joyfully purchased for my Christmas present in 2009 for the 2010 year.  As I began reading the daily devotions I quickly realized, I was in deep waters.  I wanted to quit reading it because I couldn't get it unless I read the entry over and over, and prayed for help and then over and over again.  Man, I felt so stupid!  I was so glad that men like JI Packer existed and had those thoughts because not in a million years would I be thinking them.  I was just barely scratching the surface compared to his wisdom.  (I love this book and recommend it for all of us adopting just for the 19th chapter! let alone the whole marvelous work.)

(Side Thought)  I didn't know in January of 2010, that by March of 2010 we would be in another adoption process and that the little one would have Down's Syndrome.  God was about to show me something that I never connected before.  I have an attachment disorder with my Heavenly Father. And this realization came months later and well into the adoption process of Peter.

After getting into Peter's adoption process we again had to go through that gruelling 8 hour workshop where very little of God's wisdom was being spoken of and alot of worldly wisdom was being presented as authoritative.  What was even more apparent to me this time than last time was, there were as many ways of helping a child attach as there were children.  The information was not only overwhelming but not satisfying.  Where was the hope that we Christian parents needed to hear the most?  Where was Jesus?  Where was the sovereignty of God?  Where was the authority of scripture?  I left that workshop on a mission to find an answer from the One who had adopted me!  I was hungry for a biblical answer to attachment disorder.

The 19th chapter of Knowing God talks about our adoption into the family of God.  As I was reading the devotional excerpts in October 2010, God started showing me what attachment disorder looks like between my adoptive Father, God, and His precious blood-bought daughter, Jill.  And He was using the adoptive process with Peter to stir this up in me.  Here's how.

Many times during this particular process, I have lost my way.  My trust in God has been shaken and I withdraw from Him instead of running towards Him in times of conflict.  And I hold Him at arms length because I am afraid that He might not be good to me, or answer my prayers the way I want them to be answered, or help when I need help, what if He fails?  Of course, if you are a Christian you know that it is impossible for God to fail us as a matter of fact He says in His word Hebrews 13:5 that He would never leave us or forsake us.  God was about to show me something that I could 100% trust and 100% believe and 100% speak and live with my two sons.

Here are some quotes from the JI Packer's devotional guide dealing with adoption that was instrumental in my seeing the connection between Trusting God and attachment disorder.
We are not fit for a place in God's family.  The idea of his loving and exalting us sinners as he loves and exalts the Lord Jesus sounds ludicrous and wild yet that, and nothing less than that is what our adoption means.
The establishing of the child's status as a member of the family is only a beginning.  The real task remains to establish a genuinely filial relationship between your adopted child and yourself.  So with God. . .! (What a definition of attachment!)
Definition of Adoption:  God receives us as sons and daughters, and he loves us with the same steadfast affection with which he eternally loves his beloved Only Begotten.  We are all loved just as fully as Jesus is loved.
I was undone by these quotes.  Not only did I have an improper view of my own adoption, but also of what it means to be called a child of God.  God was helping me to put the two together in my mind.  He was connecting my sinful behavior towards Him, by not trusting Him, to what the world would call attachment disorder.  God answered my prayers.  The most amazing part of this realization was that He was faithful in helping me trust Him more.  He has given me His Precious Son, His Holy Spirit, His word.  Everyday He lets me take a breath knowing that I have trouble trusting in Him.  And by faithfully loving me everyday, teaching me, admonishing me, disciplining me I am trusting Him more and more by His grace.

So now when I am sitting under worldly instruction about how to help my sons attach to me I do not shrink back; I am grateful for the information but I allow what God has shown me to wash over the secular words being spoken to me and give those same words, hope and life and biblical meaning.  Again, I am just a mom who wants to do the best by her children and nothing this world has to offer is better than what God has in His authoritative Word.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.  2 Timothy 3:16 &17

This is what God has done to me everyday of my adopted life with Him so that I will cling to Him and love Him more and more deeply.  In some ways, I am starting to take on His character, and when I want to push Him away, He never lets me go.  In His perfect love, God has done this for me, and by His great Grace I will endeavor to do this for our boys.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Presumptuous Sins

Presumption #1!  We don't need to include anyone in the decision making process.  Of course God would want us to adopt again especially because of special needs.

Psalm 19:13 says:  "Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!  Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgressions."

It was a different kind of Monday evening at our home.  Eliot was in bed, Emily and Megan were packing the papers for our paper routes downstairs.  Thom and I were upstairs talking through our decision to adopt a special needs child.  It was a hard conversation.  We had never felt challenged like this before in our Christian walk, we didn't even know how to begin to unpack the whirlwind of emotions.  We just knew that we had to find God at the center. 

Around 10 p.m. we were exhausted and were about to go to bed for yet another night's broken sleep when the phone rang.  Our dear friend and Pastor, CB Eder, was calling to see if he could come over and talk with us about our decision.  We accepted and eagerly awaited his arrival.  He was going to be the confirmation that we needed and had been praying for.  CB drew us out with questions like,

"How is it that the two of you are thinking about adopting a special needs child?  I never knew it was on your radar screen."
"What is your motivation?"
"What convincing evidence do you have from God that this isn't just 'the right thing to do' but a Calling from God?"

Wow!  We were praying for a direction to take our thoughts and God sent CB to shepherd us through a long night.  And he stayed into the wee hours of the morning helping us to see that the call was God's and that the call was sure.  He told us that we would get mixed messages about this, the process could be difficult and much different than we expected, but if we knew that we knew that God called us, we would have peace come what may, because God not only called us, He would sustain us.  CB prayed with us and a heavy burden had lifted off of his heart and ours.  Why didn't we get counsel first?  We would have had a lot more sleep.

Presumption #2!  Of course there will be money available in grants and loans and I have a rich brother!  Oh yeah, we could use that credit card that we didn't chop up yet!

Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."

(Back Story 1)  When we were in the process to adopt our son Eliot, we decided, and told our family and friends that we would use our house to bring him home if there wasn't any outside help.  The first $6,000 came from a lien on our home, we got a pretty quick grant from Bethany Christian Services (BCS), one of the churches in our family of churches gave us some help, some friends of church helped with travel costs, and my father-in-law gave us our inheritance for the country cost.  We didn't even need to ask for help.  It was really very easy and we were in and out of Guatemala in 13 months with our boy.  We were in for a big surprise this time.

We had enough money to pay for the home study and all the initial start up costs.  Because we had used BCS with the adoption of Eliot we even got a discount on the home study.  I don't know how many times we had heard that when adopting a special needs child there is a lot more money available from grants and helps and the time moves quicker, but that is not our experience this time.  There was no money available for us until we got the match from Hong Kong officially and by that time the rest of the fees came due for Bethany and USCIS Immigration clearance.  Because of the ease of our first adoption, we found ourselves at a loss as to what to do.

Grateful thought!  So glad that our Pastor helped us to initially clarify the call of God to adopt!

(Back Story 2)  The year after Eliot came home we were struggling financially and arguing quite a bit over money.  Thommy, my husband, spoke with CB (our Pastor and friend) and we were encouraged to sign-up for Financial Peace University (FPU) by Dave Ramsey held at one of our family churches.  We went and it changed how we viewed money.  Then a year later, we went through FPU with our daughter Emily.  

We went to a fund raiser that BCS was holding and I felt hopeless.  Nothing was available to help us and we were frustrated and mad at what we perceived to be untruths.  One of the BCS workers prayed with us and hope was kindled.  She said to us that this process wasn't about us it was about a little orphan that God was going to rescue and He would provide.  God called us, so we set our gaze on the "what to do now" and prayed.  God wanted to teach us that we could completely trust Him in this adoption process.  He was teaching us that waiting on an answer and watching the story unfold was a glorious display of His power and grace and He wanted to thrill us with every nuance, every little detail He was weaving into the fabric of Peter's story.  Yes, God was lifting our gaze and we were beginning to be dazzled by what we were seeing.   

Presumption #3!  Oh, God you don't mean fund raising!

Isaiah 40:21 says, "but they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagle's; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

We quickly realized that God was about to take us on an extraordinary ride.  He was taking us outside our idol of ease and comfort and placing right in the middle of the heat of trusting God.  We knew we were called by God to adopt.  With fear and trembling and lots of talking to ourselves about God's faithfulness we stepped into the crazy world of "UPs and Downs/Feast or Famine Fundraising"! 

Because we were very aware of our presumptuous ways, and stopped looking to our own understanding, and we were finding new strength through waiting on the Lord we saw God weaving a very special story in each one of our lives.  Our Immigration costs came from an unexpected source at great sacrifice to the source.  BCS surprised us with the blessing of making monthly payments towards administrative costs starting in August with the pay off in full by December.  Our daughters approached us in August and gave us their savings.  They reasoned that spending their money on anything other than bringing home their brother would be WRONG!!!  We tried to refuse!  They wouldn't have any of it.  Our church family, who are our personal heroes, participated without delay and with great excitement and generosity.  And with each milestone payment we sang the praises of God.  He was thrilling us and we were growing in trusting Him.

The Fruit of Waiting, Trusting and Not Presuming!

Ephesians 3:20 -21 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or thing, according to the power at work with us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

The fruit of avoiding presumptuous sin, trusting in God with all our hearts, waiting on the Lord, and making sure of the call of God:

1.  The fears subsided surrounding Peter having Down Syndrome as God unfolded a bigger story
2.  Quiet faith replaces presumption
3.  A deeper dependence on God
4.  Folks mobilized and desiring to help orphans
5.  A Gospel culture of adoption is birthed
6.  God gets all the glory!
7.  God was teaching us the beauty of waiting on Him

And God gave us our theme:  God is bringing Peter Home with pennies, nickles and dimes. 

How very kind of God to use this little boy to uncover sin in our hearts, lead us to repent, teach us so much and lavish us with a deeper faith in Him.  We serve an awesome God.