A Place for Peter: April 2013

Sunday, April 21, 2013

April Showers Bring May Flowers

APRIL SHOWERS

Life is not a highway strewn with flowers Still it holds a goodly share of bliss When the sun gives way to April showers Here is the point you should never miss Though April showers may come your way They bring the flowers that bloom in May So if it's raining, have no regrets Because it isn't raining rain, you know (It's raining violets) And where you see clouds upon the hills You soon will see crowds of daffodils So keep on looking for a blue bird And list'ning for his song Whenever April showers come along

I found myself singing this song early this month. It kind of rolled around in my mind over and over again. It is so true for April. Even though the days are getting longer, the flowers are blooming, the grass is growing and the trees go from dead to alive with green. The weather can be very unpredictable to say the least! That thought got me thinking about our journey with Peter and this post.

When we started out to adopt Peter we were faced with all the "how to's", the endless stream of paperwork, the fund raising and then the education classes to prepare us for our guy. There was such an abundance of encouragement as we marched on towards the day we would get Peter. We, in the Inglin family, call that "best case scenario thinking". God just calls that grace.

In Hong Kong with Peter on a field trip

Our first year with Peter was full of unpredictable weather! Looking back on it, I realize what a little survivor we really have in him. Nothing turned out the way we planned it to go. Just like when we mom's change out the winter wear for the spring/summer clothes because of a warming trend only to face 2 solid weeks of gray skies and colder temperatures. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. We wanted to cocoon this little man into our safe home environment so that he could settle into his new home. However, that would not be the case as we found ourselves caring for Thom's grieving Mom, the business of my Dad's death and the closing of his estate, and our grieving family often travelling and staying over at other's homes and not our own. Rain, rain, rain.

Dining out was a hard thing for Peter

Our second year with Peter has seen some sunshine as we put therapies in place and got some down time at home. We started out this year with a trip to the hospital because of a concussion. What parent would plan these things for their newly adopted children? 2 steps forward, 2 steps backwards. Peter was starting to really rely on us to care for him. Our names were Daddy and Mama, he knew us and some sunshine was breaking through the clouds. The temperature in our relationship with Peter was warming up and the clothes of inclement weather were getting put away. He was settling in. Partly cloudy!

Sunbeams breaking through

As we head out of our second year and into our third a little phrase keeps rolling around in my mind. We were told this during one of the many educational classes that Bethany Christian Services sponsored during our wait for Eliot, our first adopted son.

For as many months as they were in their country, that's how many months it will take for them to truly settle in.

Now, I am sure that some kids adjust more quickly than others but I just like knowing that guideline. It makes me think about the May flowers that are coming our way. My faith soars as I remember how God promises in His Word to work all things together for our good. How rainy, windy, cold are the springtime tools the Father uses to wake up the slumbering trees and the dormant flower bulbs as the wind carries pollen to fertilize the new spring plants. As the temperature rises and the flowers pop up from their warm earthen beds, our hearts are gladdened to see their long awaited return.

So back to the question, what parent would plan these things for their newly adopted children? God the Father! All these events in Peter's first 2 years with us were purposeful. What we wanted was smooth sailing and easy transitions, but God always knows best. He planned out every detail of our lives together with Peter before the foundation of the world. How awesome is that! So as May approaches I will be looking for the flowers, because God is faithful. In and out of whatever season God takes us on the journey of adoption with our boys, I know, I know, I know that His plans are perfect and the very best for them and that I can trust in Him to bring them through to fruition.

So. . .

And where you see clouds upon the hills You soon will see crowds of daffodils So keep on looking for a blue bird And list'ning for his song Whenever April showers come along

Happy Spring!

Spring has Sprung!

Monday, April 1, 2013

March Madness: Sensing the Change of the Time!!!

In our country, the USA, we have a whole month devoted to Collegiate Basketball finals. They call it March Madness. Well, the Inglin family has borrowed that term for our March, 2013.

God wastes nothing: We attend an adoption support group monthly and the topic was sensory processing disorders. The speaker was excellent and we rode home grateful for the applicable information. Little did we know how quickly God was going to be applying the information in our lives. You see, March 10th would begin Daylight savings time where we spring ahead 1 hour. It's a quaint custom in our country where twice a year we mess with God's timing by setting the clocks ahead in the spring and behind in the fall exactly 1 hour. So what's the big deal! You lose sleep or gain it, simple as that except if you have sensory processing issues which our boys do exhibit.

(Back Story 1) Thommy and I finally got to go to our church's annual Sweetheart's Banquet. It was originally scheduled for Feb. 8th but got snowed out. We had a great time, so much so that we decided to take a whole Saturday and drive to the ocean at Cape May, NJ, making a stop at the free Cape May Zoo, just be together. Well, and this is totally in hindsight, we forgot about the springing ahead. The sensory overload from the beach and the zoo, coupled with the long drive set us up for what I can only describe as MARCH MADNESS.

The Madness begins: When the boys awoke for church that Sunday, they were clearly disoriented and we started seeing the different behaviors associated with these changes. Peter couldn't communicate clearly or understand why he was being fed earlier and so therefore, he shut down on his eating and cried and cried. Eliot just got angry and kept saying, "Will someone please stop this!" repeatedly. Of course, this causes all kinds of relational tension for the rest of us that just want ease and comfort. So there we were in the middle of a muddle. But God. . .

Wisdom Enters: God was inviting us to pray. He knew exactly what was going on and how to help the boys. But did we ask? God knew exactly what it was going to take to bring us to our knees. After all, didn't we just have a wonderful teaching on the sensory issues that our adopted kids exhibit and face. After a couple of weeks of "trying to figure out what was happening" both Thom and I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and repented. Then we began praying specifically for each of our boys.

I Can See Clearly Now: God then answered our prayers for wisdom and began to use scripture and the excellent resources at our disposal to reach the boys. For Peter, it was a really an excellent opportunity to deepen his understanding of the God-given meaning of Daddy and Mommy. He knows that our names are Daddy and Mommy, but God wanted him to understand the authority of those names and He was using the change in time to do it. Each time Peter was out of control we had him repeat scripture with us (Eph. 6:1). We explained that he needed to trust and obey us and that we would help him through. By God's grace, this gentle reminder slowly brought Peter to a better place; out of madness and into peace.

New Beginnings: April has arrived and so has our boys smiles again. Eliot's anxious behaviors are once again smaller and Peter's willingness to eat has improved with less tears. But it's not just the outward behavior that has changed, but an inward joy. One night recently, Eliot, who is 6 asked Jesus to live in his heart after a time of training. It was a precious time for us and as we continue to look for the fruit of this confession it blessed us to know that out of the sensory overloads this little boy was facing, he found his answer, his peace in Jesus. Peter, well this morning at family devotions was amazing. It was the first time since we sprung ahead in time that Peter participated in Bible study accompanied by a lengthy prayer (in Peter language which is so cute). It was in this moment that I knew that I knew God had answered our prayers for help with the boys and met their needs in such a loving personal way.

Was March a Wash?: Not with God working all things together for good! There were very sweet moments that I would never trade for just "keeping the peace". Real inner change! Only God can bring about lasting change. We really can trust Him with the unknowns of life.

Snapshots of March:
1. Sweetheart's Banquet 3/8