Lesson #3: In the Moment!
Peter is a pretty amazing boy. At just 3 years old his whole world was rocked. He was adopted by us and taken away from all things familiar and comforting. And yet, by God's grace, I could see this little guy just enjoying the moment he was in.When we first met Peter in the childcare home we were prepared for him to reject us and we were not disappointed. We met him in a private room away from the rest of the population. He sat on his care giver's lap while the social worker, Christine, spoke softly to him in Cantonese about who we were. He didn't look up until my husband picked up a ball from a nearby bin of toys and rolled it to him. With forefinger still in mouth, eyes still cast down, a smile started to emerge and then, father and son were engaged in a game of catch. At the same time I was in the corner by the toy chest just looking over each toy and placing it back. Peter approached me and allowed me to hand him a toy and mother and son were laughing and relating. Of course, it was short lived for as soon as we were together with all the rest of the folks, he was having none of us!
The other moment I remember well was being on the airplane. For 15 hours Peter was with two very compassionate strangers, sitting in strange seats, eating strange food, watching strange movies and he was as happy as could be. None of the things that bothered me on the plane or any other person bothered him. He was thoroughly enjoying the "field trip". At one point I let him walk around the plane so that I could stretch my legs and so he could move around. I followed behind this happy guy waving to folks, greeting people, and making sure everyone was properly met. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow look, the next American Ambassador to China!". (There was actually a guy in the middle of one of the rows trying hard not to look at Peter. It didn't deter him! Peter walked into his aisle and waved right under the guys nose. The man smiled and laughed as Peter moved on.) The very next thought was, "I bet God is trying to show me something here".
As Peter lay sleeping on Thommy's lap 35,000 ft. in the air, flying over the North Pole, I asked God what it was that I was seeing. What came to mind was several pieces of information that I had read during the waiting period of our adoption pertaining to the general character of Down Syndrome folks. They pretty much live in the moment. One Doctor told a story of how one of his DS patients would be fretful about the appointment scheduled with him and on the drive over the child would cry and be fitful. During the visit, the child would be hard to examine and clinging to the parent. But as soon as the Dr. said, "OK, it's all over now!" the smile would come back on his face, he would wave to the Dr. and the staff, do a dance and go home much happier than he came in. God was asking me, "Jill is this how you react when all around you changes and becomes uncomfortable?" My answer was no.
I found myself thinking about how my responses to challenges differ from being like a child. Difficult situations can really bring anxiety, fear, lack of sleep, depression, any number of things. But when the event resolves and is finished do I let it go and relish the moment, do a dance, rejoice!? Often, I find myself reliving the moments and thinking of better ways of doing things forgetting to thank God for all the grace that was lavished on me, all the things that I was taught, all the sin confessed. God was answering my prayers to respond differently to life's struggles that would be pleasing to Him. Becoming more like a child.
Today was Peter's first Doctor's appointment and Thom and I both went. He walked around like Mr. Ambassador again, waving to everyone. He let us undress him, he even let the nurse take his temperature and weight and height. (He has gained 4 pounds since coming to America and grew 1/2 inch.) The Doctor came in and he shook her hand and then climbed into Daddy's lap and started to be uncomfortable. Dr. Kelly was great and helped him along the rest of the examination. But then came the shots. 3!!! 2 nurses came in wielding needles. 2 shots went in simultaneously and then 1 more. Peter cried and hugged his Daddy really hard. Within a minute or 2, he got dressed, clapped his hands and did his little dance.
As we left, I said a silent prayer thanking God for being Peter's comfort during the visit and for giving me a different way of looking at my son and how God would want me to live in the moment. When life hits me hard, I want to be on my Father's lap, being held in His trustworthy arms, and when it's too much for me, I want to turn around and look into his lovely Face and hug Him and cry, and then when it is over and He has wiped away all my tears and sets my feet on the ground and takes up my hand and says, "Let's go!, it's all over", I want to do a dance, clap my hands, sing a little tune and praise the Lord and WAVE all the way home. Thank you Peter for teaching me how to live in the moment.
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