Stirrings to a Plan! The Faithfulness of God in Our Marriage

23 Years ago I married my best friend.  I love celebrating our anniversary every year yet this year seemed sweeter.  I can still remember the moment pictured here when our pastor, Harry Thomas, announced us "Husband and Wife".  There are a few words to describe how I felt; "Saved, Hemmed in, New Life, United, JOY!"  So what's so special about 23 years?  How did this anniversary differ from any other?  What characterized this year?

I can answer all of these questions with one thing, God's grace.  This was a hard year on us as a couple. Adoption is a glorious thing.  Adding any child, whether biologically or through adoption is a true gift and with each new addition comes the new challenges of keeping the marriage a priority.  We have had many different seasons but this one with all the ups and downs have produced the most fruit.

In 1993, Thom and I entered a Sovereign Grace church newly planted in the Cherry Hill, New Jersey area.  We were struggling as newly-weds and as new parents of 2 small children.  We were immediately aware that God had placed us in a safe harbor where healing and equipping would take place.  One of the things we learned that has impacted us to this day we actually learned in a parenting seminar.  Roger and Dottie Small, our Pastor's in-laws, were teaching our group and as they were counseling us they said, "The best gift you can give to your children is a great marriage".  We had become so child focused in our family that our marriage took a backseat to their needs while our needs basically were being ignored.  Things started changing radically as we embraced this truth and the parenting truths being taught as well as linking arms with other married couples in the fight for GREAT.

Why put this here in a blog about Peter?  Adopting children brings challenges to families, to marriages.  But God. . .!  In this season of acclimating Peter to our family and our family to Peter, our marriage got pushed to the back ground as we worked with all our children.  We were all affected relationally and we all clung tightly to God and his promises as we walked through months of uncomfortable change.  Thom and I found ourselves exhausted with no energy for one another.  However, the thoughts of God's grace, the truths of scripture and the prayers of our church family brought us through abundantly!

Peter came home July 22, 2011.  Both of our Dad's died and an estate needed settling (2011-2012).  Older kids needed to talk until late hours and reassurance that things would be alright in Christ, and younger children needed such care so that they would know that they know God saved them and placed them forever in our family. (on-going)  In August of 2012, we sensed the Lord call us to go away and we went.  God awakened the desire and the energy we needed for each other.  We wanted more and more time alone and realized that we had to get creative and find a new plan to meet the demands of family and our refreshed desire for one another.  Each week, with all the new scheduling we made the effort.  We planned to weekly date outside the home, to purposefully make times in-house where we connect, including daily devotions in the early morning. We even went away for 3 days to Cape May right before Christmas.  The Lord willing, we will go away for overnights every quarter. The dates won't have anything to do with the kids and their issues.  Instead we will be going through the book, Love Dare, and implementing the exercises.

February 9, 2013, Thom and I went away eager to just be alone and to celebrate 23 years of God's faithfulness to us in our marriage.  In the quiet of the room we humbly accepted all that God did in our family and looked forward to what He would accomplish in the future.  He kept us and guided us like a water course during the difficulties and joys of Peter's adoption and addition to our family.  He has further refined our marriage, strengthened our faith and 23 years later we find ourselves singing the same song, "Great is thy Faithfulness" to our great God and King.

This is the best we can do for our kids, biological and adopted.  Wherever you are at in the adoption process, be all there!  Cling to God and depend on Him to bring you through each day.  However, when you hear that small voice saying, "It's time!  You've got a good start with the kids, now give them the gift of a Great Marriage." Jump on it! Prioritize it! Plan it!  It's not going to be easy, but it is worth it and it is the very best gift we can leave them with.  A Dad and a Mom, deeply in love with each other and their Savior.  All by God's grace, done in His faithfulness.

AS THE DUST SETTLES!!!!!

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.  Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.'  The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad!" Psalm 126:1-3

Did you ever experience that deep breath after the realization that things might actually be falling back into place?  The place, the people, the time is all different but somehow that old familiar, "God is in control and by His mighty hand, He has brought us through" is the same.  Are you familiar with that Fatherly embrace when you really, really need something to change and then it does?  That's what it has been like lately in the Inglin home.

Two days ago while I was home schooling Eliot in our little classroom in the basement, I believe the Holy Spirit was calling me to look at what God was doing in that moment.  Our little Eliot, who is 6, was reading from his school books to me while Peter sat on the floor sounding out the words right along with his brother.  It was all so normal.  WHAT!!!!  Normal, a new normal with a schedule of events beginning and ending in the Lord with all kinds of normal stuff happening in between.  I started to praise the Lord and laughed out loud.  The boys, not used to this kind of spontaneous outburst from their Mama, ran to me and hugged me as I spun them around singing, "God is so good.  God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to us!!!"  The three of us laughed and hugged and wrestled on the carpet as tears slid down my cheeks.  We were glad just to be us! 

This leads me to the point I want to share with those of you grace-filled souls who have incorporated the act of adoption into your lives.  No matter where you are at in the process, God always comes through.  And when you least expect it, as verse 1 says of Psalm 126. . .we were like those who dream.  It is like waking up to a fresh crisp morning, refreshed and full of life. When the trials of the early days of paperwork, travelling or waiting, attaching and wondering about how things will work out fade and are replaced with potty training, play dates, a schedule, chores, and even home school - everyday living doing everyday things. When a brand new expression of God's goodness in your family emerges and you find yourself standing there shaking your head and marveling at the plans of God and how they could ever possibly include you. . .Great AND Glorious praise is given and received by our Heavenly Father.  Peace floods the soul.

"Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of his praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip.  For You, O God, have tested us; You have tried us as silver is tried.  You brought us into the net; You laid a crushing burden on our backs; You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet You have brought us out to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:8-12

Glory Be to God!!!  I just want to shout to everyone about the faithfulness of our God!  Don't you?  This is what we are experiencing right now in our family.   We went out weeping bearing the seed for sowing, and we have come home with shouts of joy; bringing our sheaves with us.  Don't lose heart, God hears your prayers and in the right time, He will answer you with floods of refreshment and the fruit. . . little children are rescued at such a cost and placed, KEPT, into a family FOREVER!!!!  Just like God did for us with His precious Son, Jesus Christ, through the Cross of Calvary.  Blood bought, Redeemed, Adopted, His Forever. . .  

Redeemed how I love to proclaim it!  Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!  Redeemed through Your infinite mercy.                  Your child and forever I am!!!! 

Jesus Loves the Little Children of the World

L -R Emily, Megan, Peter, Eliot

Here they are! Four of the most unique children that I have the privilege to share life with. Each with their own story and each with a whole history created by God. They have strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows, likes and dislikes, conflicts and relationships. Only God could have put them together and make them a family. And one day when we are gone to be with Jesus, the Lord willing, they will continue the legacy of the gospel that has permeated and will permeate their entire lives.

They have pets to comfort them and sit next to them on car rides. This is Peter and Megan's dog Lily sitting in his little jeep. There's nothing better than a jeep ride with your dog!

Then comes the first tooth lost and then another! And hey what's this, a new, bigger tooth growing in it's place? That's amazing! There's the gift of a brother who will pretend with you and make you smile when you really don't want to.

Families dress up together. Big sisters get excited to share in little brother's birthday parties. They head up the games, get into character and lead a band of little super heroes in victory against imaginary foes.

Mom-moms and granddaughters, Mommy and sons, cousin and cousin all having fun.  Thanksgiving is never more blessed than when you spend it with family.

The thought occurred to me as I was thanking God for all the wonderful memories this past year, "Thom and I dearly love our kids, but God loves them so much more than we could ever love them.  He has a special plan for each of them and only He can bring it to fruition and He loves to do this."  I found myself singing,

"Jesus loves the little children, All the little children of the world.  Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world".

God is so Good! 

Look Unto Me!

"And the manna ceased the day after they ate of the produce of the land.  And there was no longer manna for the people of Israel, but they ate of the fruit of the land of Canaan that year.  Joshua 5:12"

From the book, Look Unto Me, a devotional by Charles Spurgeon, he writes: 

 "Dear Christian, perhaps this will be the case for you this year.  This is a joyful prospect, and if our faith is active, it will yield pure unvarnished  delight.  For God's people to be given the blessing of resting in Jesus is an uplifting thought indeed,  and to see the glory of it in the this life is a double blessing.. . .So may we banish every fear and, instead, rejoice with exceedingly great joy at the prospect that this year we could actually begin our time to "be with the  Lord forever." (1 Thes. 4:17). . . .This year we will gather heavenly fruit on the earthly ground where faith and hope have turned the desert into the Lord's garden.  If "men ate the bread of angels" (Ps. 78:25) long ago, why not today?"

From the pen of Jim Reimann, he writes this:

"It seems we often approach a new year with mixed emotions, sometimes hesitant to let go of the past, even as difficult as our past year may have been. . . .For believer's, however, this should not be the case.  Although we do not know the future in detail, we know the One who has made great promises to us as He guides us there.  (He cites Jer. 29:11) 

After my last post in July we joyfully went into August, finally catching our breath.  Thom and I went on our first overnight in a year and were greatly refreshed.  Then in an instant things changed.  Peter fell and hit his head very hard and so started 3 months of medical investigation seeking to clarify whether his fall had something to do with seizures, heart issues,  sleep apnea, urinary tract infection etc. . . I thought we might take up residence at CHOP.  

Pete's sleep study

Pete's new glasses

(Just a Note)  Peter is just fine!  The Dr.'s have found normal brain activity for a typical child Peter's age (not a typical child w/DS, typical child).  They found that even though Peter has sight in both eyes, only the right eye was actually seeing which landed our boy the cutest green glasses (green being his favorite color).  His heart is fine and strong and he only has a mild case of sleep apnea and only in REM sleep.

Nature walk

My Helper Megan!

During all these visits, we also started home school with our boy Eliot.  We love to home school.  It is such a privilege to be there for all the "firsts", like the first word read, the first time they write their whole name, the first time they say, "hey God made that!"  But how could I be in 2 places at the same time?  God had a perfect answer which I will forever be grateful for.  My daughter Megan, came to us and asked if we would like her to take a season off from serving other families in our community to be home with the boys and I.  What a gift that was and what an incredible season we have had!

Knoebles Thom and his boys!

Brothers are Super heroes

Inglin Family Singers 2012

We have celebrated our 10th anniversary of moving up to PA on the church plant.  As always, we went to Knoebles Amusement park.  Eliot turned 6 and we threw him a Super hero costume party.  Eliot was the HULK and Peter came as the Caped Crusader, Batman.  We went on our first Buddy Walk for our county.  Our team's name was Peter's Pacers!  We spent Thanksgiving with my Mother-in-law and went to Macy's to see the light show in Philadelphia.  We did our annual "Inglin Family Singers" at Glick's Poinsettia show and all of  us had great fun.  Thom and I went to Cape May, New Jersey for my 53rd birthday for 3 days.  My heroes Megan and Emily, watched the boys.  They missed us, but had a great time with their sisters.  And because of colds, we didn't do anything the entire Christmas/New Year holiday except hang out at home.  It was the best family memory making time ever!!!!

Peter's Pacers 2012 Buddy Walk

Light show 2012

Just hanging out during the holidays!

Last night we had a small gathering of folks over for New Year's Eve.  As we looked back over the year 2012, bitter sweet came to mind.  Each person shared that they were challenged but clung to the truth that God was good to them through it all.  As I read this devotional this morning and the words from the quote above of Jim Riemann's, "we know the One who has made great promises to us as He guides us there.", courage for future grace infused my soul.  No matter what cliff, fiscal, relational, work-related, God knows it, planned it and is bringing it to fruition already!!!  For believer's this truth is given to us in the person of Jesus Christ and the finished work on the cross.

As Spurgeon closes his entry he writes, "May God grant us the grace to feed on Jesus and thereby eat of the fruit of the land of Canaan this year!"  

I'd like to close with a prayer from Jim Reimann:

Father, may we enter this new year in complete reliance and  trust, knowing our steps into the unknown have been ordained by You.  May our walk with You be one of dedicated obedience to Your Word and your will, that You may be glorified in and through us.

Hope you have had a Merry Christmas and a blessed and assured New Year.

Abundantly More!!!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever amen."  Eph. 3:20-21

It's already the middle of summer!  And. . .a year ago today we were boarding a plane to Hong Kong to bring our little Peter home!  He is not so little anymore.  So much has happened since my last post and I want to take a moment and ask a question?  How is your Praise doing?  Weird question right?  What exactly am I asking?  The journey of adoption is filled with twists and turns.  Sometimes we wonder where we are and if things will ever be normal again.  How long O Lord must we wait to see any fruit? 

This past year we have asked all of these questions and found all of our answers in God!  And throughout the year, day in and day out, the Word of God was near to me.  Those life giving words sustained me.  They accompanied me through the dark times of grieving and hard transitions, they led me out of my own thoughts and transformed my thinking when doubts assailed me, through loving-kindness I was led to repent because of unbelief and when my mind was low the Word of God lifted my eyes to the Author of my faith and I cried out. . .

"How precious to me are your thoughts O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I would count them, they are more than the sand, I awake and I am still with you"  Ps. 139:17-18

The preached word is so important even though many times in the past year I was just glad to be sitting in church with my family.  One message that set my foot back in an upright path, a path of action was on Romans 8.  I can't remember the whole sermon just the one part of truth that reeled me in and answered a specific prayer.  I had been thinking that my faith was so weak and wondering if I would ever recover from such a year.  Our Pastor said something like this. . .

"God uses the trials and circumstances in our lives to show us how much He has grown our faith; not to show us how weak our faith is."

God answered my prayers and I saw that my feet were firmly planted on the Rock and had not moved even though storm after storm blew my way.

"The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.  They are planted in the house of the Lord, they flourish in the courts of God.  They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green to declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock and there is not unrighteousness in Him." Ps. 92:12-15

So much joy has washed over us these last days and weeks.  We have a membership to a local pool where my whole family loves to go.  My son Eliot can swim all over this year without the aid of a floatation device.  He has been jumping off the board with no fear.  Eliot's anxious moments are less and less and the new tools God has given us are moving his heart to trust in the God who can save!  Eliot has made a lot of friends at the pool and loves being an Inglin!  What a gift!

Peter has had an incredible summer so far.  He meets weekly for speech and bi-monthly for occupational and physical therapy as well as Special Ed.  Team Peter is the best ever, for each one of these devoted therapists and teachers love him and want him to thrive.  He has made such progress that we might have to re-write some IEP goals.  He loves to swim!  Like Eliot, Peter has no fear of the water.  I barely get his shirt and sandals off and his floatation device on before he plunges into the little pool.  There he lays on his belly and swims, blowing bubbles as he goes.  He too has made some friends at the pool.  He even jumps into the bigger pool and many times caught us scrambling to catch up to him as he makes his mind up to leave one area for the other.  By God's grace, we are always on time!

"I will give to the Lord the thanks due His righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High!" Ps. 7:17

Last week we went to Camp Hebron for Family Camp 4!  This week was specifically designed for families that had adopted children.  Through Bethany Christian Services, (BCS), we received funds so that we could go.  What a tremendous week it was!  Camp Hebron had some of the most compassionate and trustworthy staff to work with our kids as we, the parents, got a chance to be taught from God's word, to be helped from (BCS) with various work shops and just fun night time activities for Parents.  Thanks Kendra and your staff for all that you did for us!  May God bless you richly for such selfless acts of kindness.

(Peter's Story) Peter has slowly adjusted to life as an Inglin.  He is really a happy little guy.  But because of communication issues and the slow adjustments, he can sometimes be sad.  We had been praying for a sign from God that Peter was truly happy here with us.  One night at Family Camp, after a rousing outdoor game of Gold Rush, we came inside and had a 30 minute wait for snack time.  Thom decided to get Peter's favorite ride toy from our room and let him ride it around the dining area and foyer while we waited.  What transpired next brought tears to my eyes.  Peter was tooling around the area, laughing, really laughing.  His smile was so broad and his little body was shaking with joy. He was followed by a procession of children from all over the world chanting, "Peter, Peter, Peter" and Pete was high-fiving everyone, speaking real words and coming to us with great big hugs and kisses.  I cried so hard because for the first time since Peter has been with us, he was completely being himself, happy and social and our little boy.

A year ago we boarded a plane in tears not knowing what the year would hold for us.  God knew! and we are grateful and rest in that knowledge.  The evening of our grief has passed, and joy has come in the morning.  That is our song and I pray that if you have just started your journey with your new child or if you have been on a particularly tough journey remember, Jesus will never leave you.  Cry out to Him, bathe yourself in the Living Word and fill your mind with truth. Praise Him for He is worthy. God is for us!  And if He is for us, who can be against us?!  I want to leave you with this precious picture from Scripture of our Father and His affection towards us.

"The Lord your God is in your midst. a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will exult over you with loud singing."  Zeph.3:17

Can you hear Him singing?  Are you singing His praises?

Peter's 4th Birthday!

Last year this time we celebrated Peter's 3rd birthday apart.  Not so this year.  We started with a birthday doughnut and ended in a nice warm tub with new tub toys.  And in between. . .lots of exciting things.  So here are some more photos to capture the joy of Peter's 4th birthday.

Peter's First Big Wheel on American Soil!  He loves "Cars" the movie and this thing has all the bells and whistles!

Of course, big brothers are always right there to help little brothers "figure out how to use the gift".

Thursday morning from 10am - 12 noon we play with the Ruoss kids.  They gave Peter some really cool bath toys because they know how much Peter loves playing in the bath tub.

Here's Peter playing with those toys!

Then we played. . .

Megan played too!

After nap time, we went to swim at the pool.  We were so happy!





Finally after supper, (and can those boys eat after a big day!) we gave Peter our card.  Just like in Hong Kong, Peter held onto the card, put it into his new big wheel and read it over and over again.

And of course, Eliot had to give Peter a sword and not just any sword but one to play with in the water.  He gave a full 10 minute demonstration of how to use it.  It was very funny.

Saturday, we will be heading to NJ to celebrate with our extended family.  Peter shares a birthday with his Aunt Connie and we will eat cake and laugh and love being together.  Then we will spend the night and visit our dear church family, Sovereign Grace Church in Marlton.  Our lives are SO rich.  We love celebrating everything that has to do with what God has done for us.  Precious moments that I hope you will enjoy.



It's Official! Peter is an Inglin!!!

On May 10, 2012, Man-yu Chen officially became, Peter Yonah Inglin.  Next week Peter will begin his journey into Speech, Physical, Occupational Therapy and Special Education supports.  Peter is a joy and it occured to me that my recent blogs aren't reflecting that.  So I wanted to remedy that situation with some pics, some slide shows and general stuff Peter is doing.  I just know you are going to love it!

Friends lent us their beach house so that we could celebrate Thommy's 12th birthday.  (He is a leap year baby!)  A small group of family and dear friends gathered.



Playing Guitar at Daddy's Birthday Party



Thommy loving his boys at the party



Brothers are a gift from God and Eliot and Peter are loving each other very much.

 

   

And Sisters too!

international Down Syndrome Day!


Having dinner with friends celebrating Peter's Syndrome!



 Opening game with the Reading Phillies.  Father Son time!

  

My 3 guys hanging out at the ball game.

Mornings are very silly and I love being in the middle of the muddle.

Peter is growing so strong and confident.  We played at a playground and he amazed us.

 

Peter has good friends Nathan and Lydia.  We have weekly playdates with them.



Watching Toy Story 3 with my friends.



The Judge was wonderful.  Man-Yu Chen became "Peter Yonah Inglin" forever and for always on May 10th, 2012, at 9:45 am.  Our Pastor CB was present in the courtroom with us as well as our Case worker, Jessica.  Also present was Peter's dear Mom-Mom, Uncle Mark and Aunt Karen.

 

This Mother's day was especially memorable because my 4 children were all together with me.  The girl's treated me to a wonderful night out on the town Saturday and the boys (Thom included) bought and installed a ceiling fan for me.  I am truly a blessed Mama! 



My daughter Megan is a wiz with making videos.  She made one with over 500 picutres in it in under 4 minutes.  I'll close with that then.