Abundantly More!!!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever amen."  Eph. 3:20-21

It's already the middle of summer!  And. . .a year ago today we were boarding a plane to Hong Kong to bring our little Peter home!  He is not so little anymore.  So much has happened since my last post and I want to take a moment and ask a question?  How is your Praise doing?  Weird question right?  What exactly am I asking?  The journey of adoption is filled with twists and turns.  Sometimes we wonder where we are and if things will ever be normal again.  How long O Lord must we wait to see any fruit? 

This past year we have asked all of these questions and found all of our answers in God!  And throughout the year, day in and day out, the Word of God was near to me.  Those life giving words sustained me.  They accompanied me through the dark times of grieving and hard transitions, they led me out of my own thoughts and transformed my thinking when doubts assailed me, through loving-kindness I was led to repent because of unbelief and when my mind was low the Word of God lifted my eyes to the Author of my faith and I cried out. . .

"How precious to me are your thoughts O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I would count them, they are more than the sand, I awake and I am still with you"  Ps. 139:17-18

The preached word is so important even though many times in the past year I was just glad to be sitting in church with my family.  One message that set my foot back in an upright path, a path of action was on Romans 8.  I can't remember the whole sermon just the one part of truth that reeled me in and answered a specific prayer.  I had been thinking that my faith was so weak and wondering if I would ever recover from such a year.  Our Pastor said something like this. . .

"God uses the trials and circumstances in our lives to show us how much He has grown our faith; not to show us how weak our faith is."

God answered my prayers and I saw that my feet were firmly planted on the Rock and had not moved even though storm after storm blew my way.

"The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.  They are planted in the house of the Lord, they flourish in the courts of God.  They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green to declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock and there is not unrighteousness in Him." Ps. 92:12-15

So much joy has washed over us these last days and weeks.  We have a membership to a local pool where my whole family loves to go.  My son Eliot can swim all over this year without the aid of a floatation device.  He has been jumping off the board with no fear.  Eliot's anxious moments are less and less and the new tools God has given us are moving his heart to trust in the God who can save!  Eliot has made a lot of friends at the pool and loves being an Inglin!  What a gift!

Peter has had an incredible summer so far.  He meets weekly for speech and bi-monthly for occupational and physical therapy as well as Special Ed.  Team Peter is the best ever, for each one of these devoted therapists and teachers love him and want him to thrive.  He has made such progress that we might have to re-write some IEP goals.  He loves to swim!  Like Eliot, Peter has no fear of the water.  I barely get his shirt and sandals off and his floatation device on before he plunges into the little pool.  There he lays on his belly and swims, blowing bubbles as he goes.  He too has made some friends at the pool.  He even jumps into the bigger pool and many times caught us scrambling to catch up to him as he makes his mind up to leave one area for the other.  By God's grace, we are always on time!

"I will give to the Lord the thanks due His righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High!" Ps. 7:17

Last week we went to Camp Hebron for Family Camp 4!  This week was specifically designed for families that had adopted children.  Through Bethany Christian Services, (BCS), we received funds so that we could go.  What a tremendous week it was!  Camp Hebron had some of the most compassionate and trustworthy staff to work with our kids as we, the parents, got a chance to be taught from God's word, to be helped from (BCS) with various work shops and just fun night time activities for Parents.  Thanks Kendra and your staff for all that you did for us!  May God bless you richly for such selfless acts of kindness.

(Peter's Story) Peter has slowly adjusted to life as an Inglin.  He is really a happy little guy.  But because of communication issues and the slow adjustments, he can sometimes be sad.  We had been praying for a sign from God that Peter was truly happy here with us.  One night at Family Camp, after a rousing outdoor game of Gold Rush, we came inside and had a 30 minute wait for snack time.  Thom decided to get Peter's favorite ride toy from our room and let him ride it around the dining area and foyer while we waited.  What transpired next brought tears to my eyes.  Peter was tooling around the area, laughing, really laughing.  His smile was so broad and his little body was shaking with joy. He was followed by a procession of children from all over the world chanting, "Peter, Peter, Peter" and Pete was high-fiving everyone, speaking real words and coming to us with great big hugs and kisses.  I cried so hard because for the first time since Peter has been with us, he was completely being himself, happy and social and our little boy.

A year ago we boarded a plane in tears not knowing what the year would hold for us.  God knew! and we are grateful and rest in that knowledge.  The evening of our grief has passed, and joy has come in the morning.  That is our song and I pray that if you have just started your journey with your new child or if you have been on a particularly tough journey remember, Jesus will never leave you.  Cry out to Him, bathe yourself in the Living Word and fill your mind with truth. Praise Him for He is worthy. God is for us!  And if He is for us, who can be against us?!  I want to leave you with this precious picture from Scripture of our Father and His affection towards us.

"The Lord your God is in your midst. a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will exult over you with loud singing."  Zeph.3:17

Can you hear Him singing?  Are you singing His praises?

Peter's 4th Birthday!

Last year this time we celebrated Peter's 3rd birthday apart.  Not so this year.  We started with a birthday doughnut and ended in a nice warm tub with new tub toys.  And in between. . .lots of exciting things.  So here are some more photos to capture the joy of Peter's 4th birthday.

Peter's First Big Wheel on American Soil!  He loves "Cars" the movie and this thing has all the bells and whistles!

Of course, big brothers are always right there to help little brothers "figure out how to use the gift".

Thursday morning from 10am - 12 noon we play with the Ruoss kids.  They gave Peter some really cool bath toys because they know how much Peter loves playing in the bath tub.

Here's Peter playing with those toys!

Then we played. . .

Megan played too!

After nap time, we went to swim at the pool.  We were so happy!





Finally after supper, (and can those boys eat after a big day!) we gave Peter our card.  Just like in Hong Kong, Peter held onto the card, put it into his new big wheel and read it over and over again.

And of course, Eliot had to give Peter a sword and not just any sword but one to play with in the water.  He gave a full 10 minute demonstration of how to use it.  It was very funny.

Saturday, we will be heading to NJ to celebrate with our extended family.  Peter shares a birthday with his Aunt Connie and we will eat cake and laugh and love being together.  Then we will spend the night and visit our dear church family, Sovereign Grace Church in Marlton.  Our lives are SO rich.  We love celebrating everything that has to do with what God has done for us.  Precious moments that I hope you will enjoy.



It's Official! Peter is an Inglin!!!

On May 10, 2012, Man-yu Chen officially became, Peter Yonah Inglin.  Next week Peter will begin his journey into Speech, Physical, Occupational Therapy and Special Education supports.  Peter is a joy and it occured to me that my recent blogs aren't reflecting that.  So I wanted to remedy that situation with some pics, some slide shows and general stuff Peter is doing.  I just know you are going to love it!

Friends lent us their beach house so that we could celebrate Thommy's 12th birthday.  (He is a leap year baby!)  A small group of family and dear friends gathered.



Playing Guitar at Daddy's Birthday Party



Thommy loving his boys at the party



Brothers are a gift from God and Eliot and Peter are loving each other very much.

 

   

And Sisters too!

international Down Syndrome Day!


Having dinner with friends celebrating Peter's Syndrome!



 Opening game with the Reading Phillies.  Father Son time!

  

My 3 guys hanging out at the ball game.

Mornings are very silly and I love being in the middle of the muddle.

Peter is growing so strong and confident.  We played at a playground and he amazed us.

 

Peter has good friends Nathan and Lydia.  We have weekly playdates with them.



Watching Toy Story 3 with my friends.



The Judge was wonderful.  Man-Yu Chen became "Peter Yonah Inglin" forever and for always on May 10th, 2012, at 9:45 am.  Our Pastor CB was present in the courtroom with us as well as our Case worker, Jessica.  Also present was Peter's dear Mom-Mom, Uncle Mark and Aunt Karen.

 

This Mother's day was especially memorable because my 4 children were all together with me.  The girl's treated me to a wonderful night out on the town Saturday and the boys (Thom included) bought and installed a ceiling fan for me.  I am truly a blessed Mama! 



My daughter Megan is a wiz with making videos.  She made one with over 500 picutres in it in under 4 minutes.  I'll close with that then. 

Life Imitates Forrest Gump: My Brush With Trauma

"Keep running, Forrest!" Jenny cries, as young Forrest Gump runs with leg braces away from bullies.  It's not the last time he runs in the movie.  After his Mama dies and Jenny leaves him after a brief intimate encounter, he leaves everything behind, buys himself some NIKE sneakers and runs back and forth across the USA.  He even gathers to himself a little following looking for some purpose for their lives.  Imagine the disappointment they felt when Forrest was done running, stopped dead in his tracks, and walked to the nearest exit.

Why Forrest Gump?  In the past 9 months I have experienced real pain, real loss, real grief and I wanted to run from it as far as I could get.  Two significant deaths in our family, Peter's homecoming, and saying good-bye to my family's estate pressed in on me from every side.  Like a ship that broke free from it's moorings in a storm and driven out to sea, like Forrest Gump running from pain, like our little adopted ones washed over with unspeakable emotions, I was adrift and running!  I was running to everything but God to comfort me.  However, the anchor beyond the veil, Jesus, held me fast!

See, Forrest ran as if trying to avoid the past, the storm trying to engulf him.  God pushed me into the character-shaping storm for my good.  With God, trials and sufferings are always useful.  They are used to build good character and to produce great faith.  When going through difficult times God doesn't want us to throw Christian slogans at the situation and run from them.  God wants us to experience the good He is and has for us in the storm.  He wants us to cling to His strong arms as he purposefully blows our ship back to safety, back to the port and there "He" ties us to the dock, with knots that can't come undone.

When I originally hand-wrote this post, I was looking out the sliding glass door of my growing up home. Even when I am not there, I can close my eyes and see the breath-taking view.  I was there to prepare my family's homestead for sale.  That time would be some of the last moments I would have there before the next family comes to claim it.  The grief was almost unbearable.  Saying good-bye was/is very hard.  I want to "Run Jill", from all the pain, all the joy, all the memories and tuck it away into some nice "saying" or fuzzy thought - but God won't let me.  He holds me here and stands with me as healing tears flow down my cheeks.

Our little ones, Eliot and Peter, have experienced great loss at the hands of God - but also great gain.  Through this past 7 months of joy-filled loss God has been deepening in me a compassion and a steadfast love for my boys; a resolve to get to their little hearts, to give voice to their pain, their loss, their grief and not stop at behavior. If I, at 52, can be undone by trauma, then I can't even imagine what they must go through.  God was using this time in my life to open my eyes to the depth of pain our boys feel.

The thought of losing my forever home, not hearing the voice of a beloved parent answering the same number I have burned on my memory, presses me so hard that I can't breathe.  All the good and all the bad and all the in between will no longer tangibly be felt.  All it will be is a memory.  Touching and preparing everything for sale and watching it leave this home in the hands of someone else made me want to flee.  Walking around an empty house, with all familiar things gone and echo-y hallways sent a chill into my heart.  And soon, when I go back to get the last remaining items from the house I will be leaving my "Very Own house key".  I will never use it again to unlock that door. . never.

God took all these thoughts like a PowerPoint presentation and laid them over the boys lives and I think possibly for the first time, I truly entered into their grief.  They both were taken from birth mothers, countries, cultures, family.  Being so young still, they can't even find the words to voice their hurt, but it's there.  Who do they trust, where do they feel safety, will it ever feel better?  And like me, when the pain is at it's worst, do they turn to the only One who can truly comfort them?  Or do they act out, push away, isolate?  I am thankful to God for the real-life traumatic events of my recent life.  God wastes nothing and works all things together for good.  And as I hold my sons, writhing in my arms, trying to free themselves from love and from the pain, I pray tearful prayers for healing, grateful to be in it with them.

It's a multi-layered time for us as a family with many more lessons to be learned.  God is an Awesome Father, with infinite patience and parental skill to bring each of His adopted children finally home.  That same wisdom is available to us and as we encounter God's fresh grace for the healing of our pain, we find the strength to help our little ones in trauma.  And unlike Forrest Gump, I will not get to the end of my journey, stop and resume life where I left off.  We are forever changed.  There is purpose in our race.  Everything works together for good.  1 Corinthians 9:26 says, "We do not run aimlessly; we do not box as one beating the air."  And God wanted me to get this so that I can help our sons see Christ.

(Some Lessons)  During this traumatic journey I am learning to trust God more, to give voice to my brokenness, to receive healing, that darkness isn't dark to Him.  My God is mighty to save, my Jesus is a Great Shepherd and I do hear His voice, and the still small voice of the Holy Spirit can penetrate the loudest storms.  This is true, and this will bring peace, not only to my troubled soul, but to our little boys Eliot and Peter.

I want to end with this incredible quote from Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening.

Evening, April 12:  "Come in, strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earth-bound soul, and float it right up to my Lord's feet.  There let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by His love, having no virtue or value, only venturing to whisper to Him that if He will put His ear to me, He will hear within my heart faint echoes of the vast waves of His own love which have brought me where it is my delight to lie, even at His feet forever."

Come Lord Jesus!  Bring all of us to this place.

My Furlough

I just realized that I hadn't been blogging in a while.  Just wanted to put up a brief note of explanation.  Since my Dad's death in December of 2011, I have been working with my family to prepare the house for sale.  It has been a tremendous journey of God-directed grief and healing for me.  We are coming to a close this weekend, March 31 - April 1st, with a huge 30,000 item Estate Sale.

So we have been traveling back and forth with the boys to NJ.  The end is in sight and I will be back.  I won't say that things will go back to normal, because for a Christian life is never normal.  Thom and I know that things will never be the same and that God is moving us into a much different season full of His goodness and grace.

Brief updates:
Peter has been evaluated at Children's Hospital in Philadelphia.  It went great.  They have made their recommendations and given us some great tools.  We are also scheduled to meet with our local BCIU for a follow-up appointment for services.  That is the smallest part of our Peter.  He is coming alive more and more everyday with laughter, dancing, pretending, playing with his brother, eating everything. . .less temper fits and more and more smiles.  He has won over all our hearts completely.

Eliot is totally in love with Peter and accepting his role as big brother seriously.  Eliot is learning his letters and numbers and loves Digimon and Phineas and Ferb.

Emily and Megan are doing well.  Emily is close to her internships at school and will be turning 21 in a few months.  Megan works hard at Chick-fil-a and will be going to Guatemala in April to help orphans.

Thom and I are greatly blessed with family and friends that care for us.  This has been a worthwhile hard season.  It has been overwhelming at times, but not to big for our God.!!!!  I am looking forward in the days ahead to be able to write down some of the things God has done.  Until then, thank you for all your prayers and kind comments.  They have been very meaningful to us.

6 Months with Peter!

"I want to earn one of the smiles and receive the warm greetings that Peter gives to these wonderful folks!  Then we'll know that he has fallen in love with us."

This is a quote taken from July 19th post while we were in Hong Kong.  By God's grace, we have recently been the recipients of the gift of Peter's offered affection in the form of excited smiles, kisses and hugs.  Looking back over these past months, we now realize that Peter has been in survival mode.  It has only been this past month that we have begun to see a fuller picture of our boy.

What amazing grace wraps these adopted children and keeps them during the initial placement with their forever families!  Peter has come such a long way on the knees of prayer and dependency on God and nothing else.  We have sought guidance from Bethany Christian Services (BCS) through the Post-Adoption Support Group (PASG) we attend bi-monthly, Yes!  We have received counsel from our BCS social worker, Jessica Armato, and received some very compassionate, timely wise words. Yes!  Our Pastors have continued to care for our souls individually and as a family during these first months. Yes!  All are valuable to us.  However, what dawned on me was this thought, "Wow, what would this have been like if God hadn't planned this all out before any of it came to be?"  The truth is there are many tools in our arsenal of parental care, but only God has the wisdom to help us apply these appropriately while keeping the Gospel central in the care of Peter and Eliot.

During the month of December, I was traveling back and forth to New Jersey helping my siblings with my parent's estate.  I had been away from Peter for about a 5 day span and when he saw me for the first time, he ran to me shouting, "Mama!, Mama!" and flung himself in my arms hugging me snugly and kissing my lips and face.  God ordained that incredibly encouraging moment.  The timing of all the ups and downs of this adoption journey has been set in place by God for this little boy's good while using the new tools acquired to facilitate those changes.  What am I saying?  God is in control of everything, even the tools given along the way.  That the tools are not an end in themselves but a means of help.  God is the center of Peter's story not PASG, not BCS, not Mother's Choice childcare home, not the Inglin family,  GOD.  And He is jealous that Peter's life reflect His magnificent grace and that God receives all the glory!

So here are some amazing new things we are seeing Peter do by God's grace.

1. Peter is eating all kinds of new foods including, broccoli, humus, chili, PB&J, regular milk, grapes, salad, tuna, sips of coffee, lemonade, ice cream, french fries, grilled cheese, basically anything on our plates
2. Peter is taking his medicine from us without us having to hide it in yogurt.
3. Peter is hugging and kissing all of the members of his immediate family as well as being affectionate to his extended family.
4. Peter has a friend named Lydia.
5. Peter went to Sunday School without us and not only stayed in the class without crying, but ran into class and participated in the activities.
6. Peter has learned 20 new signs and has increased his spoken vocabulary.
7. Peter has gained 9 lbs and grown 1-1/2" since coming home.
8. Peter loves riding on his little fire truck on the back porch.  He can climb up the sliding board ladder and slides down the slide.  He climbs up, with supervision, into the top bunk with Eliot.
9. Peter loves to read books. His favorite book is the children's Bible we are using right now.  His favorite movie that he loves to sing with is "Elmo's top 10 count Down" by Sesame Street, and the "Bob the Builder" theme song.
10. Peter has 2 absolute loves that are the same today as when he arrived home 6 months ago.  They are the water and music.  He loves to play along with us during music times and he goes completely crazy when we tell him it's bath time.

God is the only one who can bring about change in our lives.  He knows what tools will work in our hands and which ones won't.  He keeps all the threads weaving perfectly in each life and in each other's lives.  God will complete this work that is only just begun in our family and Peter as only He can.  I trust God.  I do!

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Phil 1:6