Attaching = Trusting

We recently received an update from Hong Kong about Peter!  Getting 4 new pictures and reading that they were taken while he was out with his workers getting visa pictures and medicals surely excited us.  His care giver even shared a wonderful observation about Peter and his ability to charm folks and imitate people.  Then we received what we believe to be the most encouraging of all news. . .Peter is aware that something is changing and is signing that he is scared!  He has been pushing some volunteers away and wanting only his staff workers during these times. 

It's one of the many sobering moments in adoption.  The future family is all excited to go and bring home their little one.  The little one however, is overwhelmed and fearful because everything is changing for them.  For Peter, his entire culture, residence, smells, sounds, language, and routine will be changing.  He probably won't be too happy right away, perhaps even rejecting one or both of us initially.   All we will be to him is compassionate unfamiliar strangers.  We will do our best to comfort him, but for him, that might not be enough right off the bat.  Are we prepared?  Maybe a little more than when we brought our little boy Eliot home 4 years ago.  By God's grace, we have learned so much about training our son during these specific adoption issues he has faced and have become convinced that showing Eliot that he can trust us, a million times a day IS what we need to do in order for him to continue to grow in his identity as a Guatemalan Inglin.  Isn't that what God does for us as His dearly loved children, millions of times a day throughout the duration of our adoption into His family?

We learned in an attachment workshop we recently attended that trust is crucial in the first two years of life.  Some orphaned children have trouble then because that cycle was interrupted by the trauma of being placed in an orphanage or foster home. When we read that Peter was communicating that he was scared and clinging to those who have comforted him the most, God brought a bit of that session to the fore front of our thinking. If a child has made emotional attachments with his workers or foster families, he will in all likelihood be able to make those same ones with his forever family.  (Not a direct quote, just what came to my mind.)  Peter will be 3 and maybe unable to communicate with us right away.  We are praying right now for great compassion and patience for that time and for the rest of his life and ours together.  I have also been praying for him this prayer:

"Peter remember, God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control." 

Only God knows how it will be, of course, because He has it all planned out.  Just like with all of our other children, we will feel the sanctifying grace of God pouring out into our family.  That Peter, as well as the rest of us, will need help in the weeks and months ahead, and the God who created all of it will be there in the midst of the commotion, leading, guiding, comforting and loving us.  We can lean our whole weight on Him.  What a privilege it will be to be Peter's mommy and help him to trust again!  And what an awesome God I can point Peter to during times of human weakness and tell him that God will never fail him.  That when he is afraid, he can trust in God.  We will be able to model this for him because that's what God has been showing us all through our redeemed lives. And, it's what we have passed and will continue to pass on to our daughters and our young sons.

(Mom Thought) "Peter, God IS doing this work and He will lovingly complete it for you.  Daddy and I are looking forward to stepping into your story and loving you through the ups and downs of life.  What an incredible life God has prepared for you son! Be at Peace!"