Happy New Year! Fruitful Labors for 2012

I keep a day-timer each year and for the past several years I have included in the daily "to-do's" everyday gifts from God.  As I look over the years events day in and day out, I am aware of God's goodness and mercy to my family.  It's all unearned, just pure grace and this thought occurred to me.  "My life is not my own."  Each December the 31st, God is faithful to set my sights for the next year.  Is this my theme?  Then the Holy Spirit, with the help of a concordance, brought me to this verse.

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me.  Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two.  My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.  But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."  Phil. 1: 21-24

I love the part that says, "If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me."  These Holy Spirit inspired words were written so long ago and yet today, December the 31st, 2011, they hold powerful, life shaping meaning for me.  What joyous labor I have ahead for me in my family, my church and my community.  "The Gospel". 

(Prayer 1)  O God, please let me live my life in fruitful labor towards my husband, my children, my church and my community.  Let it be joyous and let Your strength, Jesus, flow through me and out of me in this coming year.  Let Your Gospel be proclaimed in my life and through my life in all ways accessible to man as only You know how.

Peter will have his first evaluation for services at the Berks County Intermediate Unit (BCIU).  Because he will be home schooled we already have an opportunity to share the reason "why" with all the folks at the BCIU.  He will also be followed by CHOP (Children's Hospital Of Philadelphia), and the Trisomy 21 program for the following God-ordained reasons.  1. Asian child with Down Syndrome  2. Adopted child  3.  Home schooled child.  They want to walk through life with Peter so that his life and his uniqueness might be used to help others.  We are just at the beginning of this journey with Pete and already his life will be fruitful for others like himself and for the Kingdom of God. 

(Prayer  2) O Sovereign God, designer of our fabric, take Peter's life and use it for your glory and the benefit of others of his population.  May his life inspire many to rescue orphans just like him from orphanages all across the world and let his voice first praise your name in all endeavors and then offer hope to others who are willing to be imitators of your precious Son, Jesus Christ, the ultimate Rescuer!

Eliot is a very precious 5 year old.  He has suffered 2 significant losses, the deaths of 2 grandfathers, in the past 5 months and one very profound gain, a brother!  This friendly, loving boy started to act out in ways uncharacteristic to the situations and his family or so we thought.  Thanks to Bethany Christian Services (BCS) and the post-adoption support group offered locally, we have found helpful tools, answers to puzzling questions and a way to the heart of the matter in Eliot.  By God's grace, Eliot is able to give a voice to the crazy feelings (his description) inside his head and we have been able to "train him up in the way He should go. . ."  Eliot, more and more, has peace about his little life and he knows that God is the giver of that peace.

Emily will be 21 this year.  Already the comments of going out and drinking "legally" have come up and the anti-parental authority statements.  But, by God's grace, Emily heeds our counsel and doesn't need those things in order for her to know that she is an adult.  God has brought her this far by grace and He will lead her safely through this life and home to Him.   (Mom thought)  Why does legally becoming an adult mean that you should lay aside reason and act like a child?  Megan will be 19 in 2 days.  She has committed to go on the mission field in April to Guatemala to help out with an orphanage there.  She has chosen a path of no "higher education" at this time and works at Chick-fil-a part-time.  Again, by God's grace, she wants to help me out in the home and be a blessing to her brothers learning by my side.

(Prayer 3) O my Strength, I will watch for you, (in all ways pertaining to the training of these precious children You have blessed us with) for You, O God are my fortress (and inside the walls of Your fortress, show each of us the paths You have for us to walk for Your glory and our good)

This year Thommy and I will be celebrating 22 years of marriage.  These years display God's faithfulness, steadfast love, and abounding grace.  Our marriage remains the greatest and best gift God has given both of us next to Christ. We have said good-bye to our dads and hello to a new son.  We cried out to our God for provision to bring Peter home, for wisdom in coming alongside our daughters as they continue to grow in their relationship with Christ, help for Eliot and his heart towards God.  By God's urging, Thom stepped out of leadership for a season in order to help us navigate all this change. (So grateful for the obedient child-like heart that Thommy has towards God and his devotion to God's Word.)  And through all of this, God answered our prayers with more than we could've asked or possibly imagined.

Two loved ones have passed away.  I couldn't help feeling jealous.  The scripture above says, "For to me, to live is Christ,  and to die is gain."  I won't deny the longing in my heart to see Jesus' precious face and to be with Him forever, Forever!  But Paul goes on to say, "I am hard pressed between the two.  My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.  But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."  So here I am with glorious work to be done because for now, it is more necessary to remain.  And I stay on account of those that need to hear the truth, feel the truth, taste the truth and live the truth.  I don't know who all of them are, but God does.  I just look forward to meeting them in 2012.

(Closing Prayer)  Dear Father, Awesome God and Giver of all good gifts, "You know the plans you have for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future."  I praise You for all the goodness you have shown to me and to those around me, my husband, my family, my church and my community in 2011.  Father we cry out, "Have your full way with us Lord and let our lives be living sacrifices to You, a pleasing aroma, as we enter 2012.  Let us live as Christ to those in our lives and those yet to come and Lord let our lives be full of fruitful labors.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

What it cost to say Merry Christmas!

"Have this in mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, thanking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phil. 2: 5-11

Every Christmas carol, every reference to Christ this Christmas has brought a lump into my throat and tears to my eyes.  This has been a year of difficult change both joyful and mournful.  And yet no suffering or sacrifice we have faced as a family can compare with what Jesus did for us on the cross.  When all the noise is quieted in my soul, Christ silently, quietly, humbly ministers and reminds of His first coming among man so many years ago.  He is the Foundation of my faith, the Shepherd of my soul, the Adopter of my life.  I am His and He is mine and nothing can ever change that.

Change has happened in our family.  We went from a family of 4 that lived in NJ to a church planting family that sows the gospel in PA.  We went from 4 to 5 when the call came to adopt Eliot from Guatemala in 2007, and just a few months ago, in July 2011, 5 to 6 when Peter was adopted and brought home from Hong Kong.  Lots of joyful change.  

Poinsettia Show 2011 - Inglin Family Singers

But along with the joyful changes in our lives God mingled in some sorrowful ones as well.  My dear father-in-law went to be with Jesus on the 14th of July, 2011, one day before we got on a plane to pick-up Peter.  What a decision to have to make in an already tense God-ordained moment for our lives!  God wasn't done sanctifying us though.  He wasn't done bringing true and lasting gifts to us.  God wastes nothing and His timing is always fruitful and good.

December the 8th my Dad, George F. Goley III, was discovered dead in his home.  The phone call came in at 10:30 pm from my brother.  I wasn't ready for this announcement.  You see, my dad wasn't a Christian although I had presented the gospel to him many times, that last time being after Thanksgiving dinner this year.  During the Thanksgiving celebration, dad was able to spend time with his grandsons and thanks to Aunt Connie, we got pictures of dad holding them.  But did he cry out to Christ for mercy as the thief on the cross as he lay there dying?  I won't know for sure until the day of Jesus' second return.  That's what grieved my soul.  Was I a faithful daughter of the Most High God?  Did I take the opportunities given me to tell my dad about Jesus?  Were my prayers for dad laden with pleadings for salvation?  By God's grace, yes, but in the torment of my soul was this question, was it enough?

God answered that through the counsel of my adopted family, the body of Christ.  My pastors reminded me of the faithfulness of God and His mercy that even the criminal that hung next to Christ, that had no more options left to him except to die for his crimes, would be shown mercy.  For in the moments leading up to Christ's death the thief confessed sin, professed Christ and in love Christ held out the Kingdom of God to him.  Could this have happened to my dad as he lay dying alone on the floor of his bedroom?  There is reason for me to hope.  The gospel is the power unto salvation.  Nothing can stop the plans God has for us, not even death.  Jesus conquered death!

So like Christian, in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, the burden of all the what-ifs slipped off my back.  Jesus removed it.  What a precious gift this was!  It's His job to save.  He knows who will come and who won't.  He can even use weak attempts like mine of proclaiming the gospel to plant seeds in hardened hearts, like dad's.  He is the only one that can bring new life.   Peter is with us and having a great Christmas.  My father-in-law is truly celebrating Christmas for the first time face to face with Jesus, and perhaps even my dad. . . Ah, I so look forward to that day.  So saying Merry Christmas carried new weight this year for me.  Although my celebration of my Savior's birth is mixed with sorrow, it is none-the-less filled with joy.  It cost God everything for us to celebrate and for me to say, "Merry Christmas".  Jesus paid it all dear ones.

O Come let us adore Him,

O come let us adore Him,

O come let us adore Him

Christ The Lord!

Foot Note to Thanksgiving

The last table cloth, napkin and plate is put away.  We have not grown weary of turkey yet or leftover pumpkin pie.  What a gift this Thanksgiving was!

Thanksgiving eve was spent with the next generation.  We ate, drank and made merry as we set tables, made name tags and laughed really hard together.  The mantle truly has passed to our generation, and our kids are actively participating.  Look what God has done!

My dad, Thom's mother, uncle and aunt honored our gathering with the wisdom that only comes with gray hairs turned white.  They were nestled in the future, serving, learning their traditions and making new ones.  And there was Peter!  He was so happy in all the commotion.  He ate so much and followed his big brother's lead the whole day.  At one point, I looked out our family room windows and there he was chasing his cousins, sisters and brother around the yard.  He plopped down in a bunch of fall leaves and started tossing them in the air.  He was laughing, and it was from the belly.  God gave this orphan a family.  (PS.  He did not cry a single time during the day!  Peter was truly enjoying his new extended family.)

 Yesterday, we went to see the Muppet's new movie as a family of 6.  There was Peter, sitting on his daddy's lap with his dear brother so close by and he was animatedly interacting with the characters.  I had to laugh.  What an amazing life God has given us! 

Today we went to Gring's Mill for a walk to the "bat" bridge!  Eliot was looking for dinosaurs and their secret caves.  We stopped people coming from the opposite direction asking if they had spotted any dinosaurs.  We got to the bridge, had a snack, ran back and forth 3 times and turned back towards the van.  What a beautiful place to raise our family!  God's plans are SO much better than anything we could've come up with!  I love long weekends with my family.

Last Year At Thanksgiving: This Year at Thanksgiving

This year has flown by!  So much has happened to us as a family, so much to be thankful for.  Last year at Thanksgiving Peter wasn't with us.  We had planned a huge yard sale for Black Saturday so we didn't travel to our family's house for dinner.  And as we sat at the table with a small group of friends we wondered what the following Thanksgiving would hold for us.  We had no idea what God was planning.

The yard sale was a big success netting over $1,000. That along with the gifts we received from donations all throughout December, gave us what we needed to pay off our debt to Bethany before it's due date.  We had so much fun doing it as well.  Family and friends all pitched in as we turned our back porch and family room into a yard sale "boutique".  The gospel message went out loud and clear that day as well as the message of millions of children in need of homes still.

This year there is 1 less orphan in need of a family.  He will be sitting at a table with his aunts and uncles, grandpops and grandmoms, cousins and friends AND his Mommy, Daddy, Sisters and Brother.  This year might be overwhelming for him, he might even cry.  But I know that in the years to come, the Lord willing, this little boy will grow to love and own this family as his very own.  Maybe even one day, when we go around the table asking each person what they are thankful for, we might here, "my family".  Wow!  How many tears will flow on that day, I daresay, just as many as this holiday will spill!

By God's design, we have suffered a great loss this year, the death of our dear Dad Inglin.  But we have also been blessed with 2 special blessing, the birth of Violet, our niece, and the adoption of Peter.  Certainly, both happy and sad tears will fall at our tables, but this I know; God has done a marvelous work in our family and we have many reasons to praise His name.  That's what I am looking forward too.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it and to those who don't, thank you for reading this blog.  A day of thanks is fitting to our faithful God.  As we all continue to press into God's call on each of our lives, by God's grace, I pray that our hearts be filled with joy at the gifts that He has given to each of us, the best gift being, Jesus Christ.  We have so much to thank Him for, Don't We!

Grandma and Grandpa?

Psalm 71:18  So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.

Thom invited Eliot, Peter and me along on a business trip this past week.  We didn't go far, just to Connecticut.  The 4 Amigos on an adventure.  We went to parks during the mornings, ate at McDonald's for lunch where the boys climbed like monkeys through the play place.  Then after nap time for Peter, (and Mommy!) we went swimming in the hotel pool!  I can't even begin to describe the strange looks and the pointed questions I received.  But Grandma and Grandpa?  Well, at least we got a free breakfast out of it and a chance to boast in what God was doing in our lives and the lives of our boys.

(Back Story 1)  It was the last day of our stay in CT.  Thommy's company provided food vouchers for him each morning, but not for us.  So on our last day we brought the boys down to the dining area where we were promptly greeted by our hostess.  She was Hispanic and noticed Eliot right away commenting on how handsome he was and she couldn't resist tweaking Peter's cheek.  Finally, as we were finally in our seats with all table condiments out of reach, our hostess walked over and asked the boys, "Is Grandma and Grandpa going to get you your food now?"  We laughed and shared our story briefly with her and there were tears in her eyes.  She looked straight into my eyes and said, "This is a very good thing you have done!"  We boasted in the goodness of God to us that He would give us such precious little ones.  When we went to leave, she gave me a little hug, said good-bye to the boys and told Thom that his voucher was all she needed.  We thanked her for her kindness and left.  God entered into that meal, that hotel dining room, that hotel employee's world and was dazzling.

I remember sitting at McDonald's one afternoon and looking around the play area.  It was like a Grandparent support group.  Lots of gray hair bragging on their grandchildren.  Even when the kids acted out, Grandma or Grandpa would handle the situation calmly and with a smile.  Wisdom.  What broke my observation was a loud, "Mommy, Peter is going up the tube and got stuck!  Can you please come and get him?"  You know those moments when the room gets quiet and all eyes fasten on you?  Well, welcome to my moment.  And what entertainment I must have provided for all the folks as I kicked off my shoes and lumbered my way into the first section of tube grabbing Peter's foot and pulling the giggly boy down.  Fortunately, this time I didn't get stuck.

Psalm 71:9  Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent.

It almost seems to me that boasting in what God has done isn't enough when it comes to parenting Eliot and Peter.  He certainly has far exceeded our hopes and prayers for Emily and Megan.  My God called us in our weakness to do something that only His strength could complete.  But as I look to these scriptures I am thrilled that even at the ripe old age of 51 I have a great purpose.  I get to proclaim to our little boys, and all the little friends along the way, the reason why, the Gospel.  And just like with the girls, we get the joyful privilege of training them up in the Gospel of Jesus and hope for their salvation.  Our work isn't done! The most relieving thoughts I have had recently are simply that I don't need physical strength to do this glorious job.  God's grace will complete the work here.  I have His promise that He will not forsake or leave me, that He will be my strength in weakness.

So when I am older and grayer, my sons will just be turning 20, and hopefully, by God's grace, God's word will dwell richly in them and the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ will be such a passion for them that they will take up the mantel from us, like their sisters and tell all the nieces, nephews, friends, cousins, Aunties and Uncles rippling out to future generations that Jesus is Alive and stands ready to save.  And by God's grace they will love the church and serve her well, bringing the light of Jesus into their homes and communities.  That my friends is worth so much more than all the stares and Grandma and Grandpa comments.

O Dear Lord, if you tarry and I live even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.  Here I am, your humble servant, use me!

October 23, 1998

On October 23, 1998, my mother, Patricia Ann Goley, died in my arms at the age of 62 from lung cancer.  Her esophagus ruptured and her life's blood poured onto her bathroom floor as I cried out to God to help us.  Within 2 minutes I could sense the presence of Jesus and I knew Mom was with her Savior and Free!  What a gift from God to be holding my Mom as she departed from this world and entered into her rest.

Today, on October 23, 2011, we dedicated Peter in church in front of all our brothers and sisters declaring that we would raise Peter up in Christ and the church by God's grace. There he was, finally in our arms, surrounded by the very people that made it possible for him to come home, sharing in our joy.  It was only afterwards that my husband Thommy made me aware of the significance of the date and while still standing there my eyes melted into tears.  So many other thoughts flowed with tears throughout today.  Memories really. 

(Back Story 1)  My mom loved kids and loved us more than anything.  Her job was working with children who couldn't read for varying reasons.  She was a reading specialist.  The children she taught were truly helped and according to the professionals she worked with, the children successfully started reading and caught up to the typical peer group.  Mom often said that she knew exactly how to help them because she was so much like them.  She too had a hard time learning and worked hard all her educational life, getting any and all the help she needed to achieve a Master's Degree +.  Her passion was to give her students not just tools to make the grade, but her love and help.  My brother, sister and I can say the same.

And here we are with the gift of Peter.  Mom gave me the wonderful gift of her confidence that I could do what I set out to do and then the tools necessary to do them.  I loved her for this. Because today, when I look at Peter I don't see a disabled boy unable to be "typical", I see all the possibilities that face him.  And the same God that saved my mother 2 months prior to her death, is the same God that will give this little boy what he needs for life and godliness.  And in Peter's great cloud of witnesses stands one Grammy routing him on.  Every 23rd of October when I think of my Mother's homecoming, I will also be telling one special little boy all about what he shares with his Grammy.

"Did you ever know that your my hero?  And everything I wish I could be?  Now I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings." Wind Beneath my Wings

Thank you Mommy for being my hero.  I have such a significant, purposeful and rich heritage.  Everything tied together in the wonderful tapestry of grace that God my Father ordained as my life.  He even redeemed October 23, 1998.  Indeed I have a wonderful inheritance.

From Princesses to Super Heroes!

Recently I noticed something odd in my upstairs bathroom.  The toilet seat is up!  And rightly so!  For 16 years the lady portion of our family dominated the upstairs and so the seat was down.  Now is the time for the Men!  I am smiling.  I am grateful.  My husband and my boys, what a happy scene.

In the mornings I hear Thom say, "Good morning gentlemen".  Off goes the sleepy-time music and on goes the Micky Mouse Clubhouse CD.  For so many years it has been, "Good morning Ladies, rise and shine!"  Now. . . robust laughing and silly sayings and loud noises of boys wrestling their Daddy as he fake falls to the ground.  Pull-ups and diapers out in the pale and two little happy boys settle down on our laps for Bible study.  I love watching Thommy love his boys and model Jesus right in front of their eyes.

Breakfast is next and as it is announced roars rise up from the play area.  Kid's Cookie Break is playing in the background as we put their meals together and ours.  We barely get through mealtime prayers before one of the boys dives into their food.  And oh the plans Eliot has for his grand adventure.  By this point, Peter is usually wanting something more and wriggling in his seat with every delicious mouthful.  He gets so excited that he yells and reaches to hug Daddy and me.  What bliss. So different from when Emily and Megan grew up. 

Then down to serious playing.   On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, we deliver a local paper as a family (not including Thommy).  The girls head off on their parts of the routes but before they can go Eliot makes sure that they have maps, cell phones and a very long hug from him.  Eliot runs each route and over a two day period that could add up to 15-20 miles worth of foot action.  He throws papers for me and makes sure that I am OK.  As each route ends, Peter greets his sisters with a warm wave and exuberant hopping up and down in his stroller seat. 

And the movies we watch have nothing to do with Prince Charming.  It's all action or fuzzy monsters, defeating evil or teaching numbers or shapes.  And of course, role playing with swords or karate kicks.  I just smile as I think back to the girls and how they would watch say Cinderella and then go upstairs to their play room and pretend the whole movie making up dialogue as the went along.  Eliot and Peter get done watching a movie and get up the stairs to the back porch for some pretty physical play.  And of course more music.

Bath time is very wet and bedtime is very purposeful.  Each boy has favorite books, each has a way they must sit on Daddy's lap or mine, each has a special way of climbing into their beds and each has an interesting way of praying.  Daddy wakes them up and puts them down most of the time and I get to listen in and smile.  And as I think over the days activities I again realize that I have left the realm of raising little girls and have entered a new season.  So when the lights are turned off and the door to the little boy's room is closed I slip down to my girls apartment and put on sanity as I listen to them share their days with me.

Peter, Eliot, Thommy and Me, the Four Amigos!  New dreams and grand stories or heroic deeds are dreamed upstairs.  And I am so glad to be the one sharing in it all.  What wonderful creatures boys are!

Inglin Family Update

This has been a real season of God strengthening our faith.  For awhile it has seemed like we were just gasping for air as the storm waves crashed over us. Lots of upheaval! You know, sort of like being at the beach and getting caught in the surf and tossed like a rag doll and just when you could snatch a breath, another wave crashes in.  Our favorite phrase right now is "coming up for air".  However, when we do come up for air, it's not gasps that we are getting, but refreshment of soul.

We wanted to thank all of you for praying for us.  Some of you we don't even know but look forward to meeting in heaven. Peter has only been home 2 months.  His dynamic added into an already passionate family has brought about some interesting moments.  Gratefully, because of all the lessons along the way we have been equipped to wait on God and pray in hope.  So here are some highlights. . .

Peter has slept through the night since the third night in his new home.  His eating is where he has "taken control", "exerted his will" in all the topsy turvy-ness of his new life.  We are grateful that he chose the latter to be in control of.  We are frail and need our sleep.   We have contacted Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and are on a waiting list for a "global evaluation" and in the meantime continuing what was already in place for him at the childcare home. Peter gets along with us all.  His face lights up each day when we all show up.  His favorite things to do are swim, either play or watch Eliot play computer games, ride the little cars on the back porch and listen to or participate in music.  He gets really jazzed when we break out the instruments and start to jam.  He has a real strong will and the temper to go with it when the "will" is thwarted.  Hey, sounds like a custom fit for our family.

Eliot is such a blessing to Peter.  Although he is struggling right now sharing all of us with his brother, Eliot fills the "big brother" role just fine.  However, there is typical brother stuff going on as well!  The overly loving hugs from Eliot, the swats from Peter with the piercing yell, the snatched toy, the temper fits, you know all good stuff that to little sinners bring into the relationship.  Jealousy is a hard concept to teach in word, but God in his wisdom has given us numerous daily examples to choose from to help illustrate it.  That said, one day while playing at the YMCA Peter had put on a construction helmet from the dress up bin.  Another child wanted that helmet and before I could get there I watched Eliot get between the boy and Peter to protect his brother.  I hugged Eliot big time that day as I encouraged him about caring for his brother.

Emily and Megan are enjoying being adults.  By God's grace their vehicle is on the road and they run each other to and from work, school, church meetings etc.  It is wonderful to see them as God's workmanship more than my daughters.  As life comes at them, they watch God move on their behalf and it is such a privilege to be the one they come and tell all that He has done.

We have a new van without having to take on a car payment.  Again, by God's provision and fatherly care a family member had a mini-van not being used and gave it to us for the insurance money we got back from the car accident.  It is worth far more than what we got back.  We are grateful for His continued mercies towards us and our family's care.

Finally, on Friday the boys and I went to the "Y" to play.  The area for the kids to play in is huge with many varied activities to choose from and as I followed each boy from one area to the next I had this thought; "I am following my boys around and I love it!  How much fun is that!"  I climbed through the play structure, and almost got stuck and as the boys and I laughed I remember thinking that I was the most blessed mommy on the planet.  (I also remember thinking, I don't think I am going to climb through this play structure again).  And completely amazed that God had this in store for me.

So the strong waves have subsided, and we have gotten out of the rough current.  God did it.  In these past few months God has made sure that the lessons impressed on us during this past year continue to grow and impact our lives to change us forever.  My sons are asleep, my daughters have finished their jobs, my husband and I are getting ready for church and another day to look forward to is just around the corner.  What a life!  Thank you for sharing it with us.

Dinner for 6?!

Our Flight to Hong Kong netted us a gift card to a favorite restaurant!  As we were driving to the destination I realized that we were going as 6, not 5, not 4, and certainly not 2.  We have a family of 6.  We had a wonderful time of celebration too!  I was so choked up about how God had grown our family that I was giddy all throughout supper.

Eliot sat with Daddy and Megan while Emily, Peter and I sat opposite them.  At first Peter wasn't quite sure what to make of all the noise and the funny booster seat.  Eliot had to try out the bathroom 3 times just to make sure it was there and that it worked!  The girls were so grown-up ordering anything they wanted from the menu and free refills on their soft drinks to boot!  Thom and I just sat there with goofy smiles on our faces.  Why?  The reality of what God had accomplished over the past few months had finally sunk in.  Praise was coming out as we both took turns recounting the goodness of God.

Peter was animated.  He ate a cheese quesadilla, applesauce and drank water for the first time since coming home.  Eliot just wanted to be so close to Daddy and was very engaging with the waitress telling her all about our family.  The girls just laughed and told jokes and had octopus arms moving things away from the boys.  As Thom and I made sure the boys were being cared for and continued to draw attention to the many answered prayers the weight of all that happened lifted.  By God's grace all the pieces of our lives that got moved out of place by the addition of Peter, are coming back into place.  We were out to dinner as a normal American family sharing a meal and making a memory.

I can't remember what I ate!  All I can remember is the phrase, "Look at what God has done on behalf of the Inglin family!"  We don't know what lies ahead for our wonderful family, but God does!  We trust Him and He was the honored guest at our dinner for 6.

Lessons From Hong Kong: Part IV Final Lesson

Lesson #4:  I Found My Voice in Hong Kong

Psalm 147: 1  Praise the Lord!  For it is GOOD to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant and a song of praise is fitting!

There is a song we sing in our church that both Thom and I whispered through tears that Monday morning in Hong Kong.  It's called "I Need You Jesus".  The first verse seemed to fit our circumstances during the whole stay and since coming home.  It goes like this:

I am frail, and broken easily
without fail, my strength keeps failing me
All alone, I'm powerless
To lift myself from the pit that I am in

I need You, Jesus
I need You Jesus.

As we passed the time there, songs kept coming to my mind.  Quietly, almost absentmindedly, I would sing them.  When in church that Sunday, singing with my brothers and sisters in Christ "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand" tears coursed down my cheeks as both Cantonese and English voices mingled praising God.  And I heard God say to me, "Jill, sing to me.  Sing to me with the voice I gave you and let nothing hinder the joy-filled tears."   As soon as I heard this in my spirit a picture came to me.  It was from my Father, and it was a gift.

 (Back Story 1)  I had a favorite Grandpop.  I loved both my Grandfathers, but Grandpop Goley and I shared a special bond.  I was 9 years old and it was summer.  Often times the only way my mom could find me was to listen for me.  Usually I was singing somewhere.  But on this particular day I was in the screen porch with my Grandpop.  He had suffered a severe heart attack and he and Grandmom moved in with us so that my mother could help with the recovery.  I remember sitting so close to him that I could smell him.  He was sleeping.  I was a little disappointed because I just wanted to tell him everything I was thinking.  He always listened to me and knew exactly what to say to me.  I guess he sensed me there because he opened his eyes and asked me to sing a happy song for him.  I sang the "Bluebird of Happiness" that I had learned from the Captain Noah show.  He closed his eyes, with a smile on his face.  I kept singing every song I could think of just to keep that smile there.  I loved Grandpop with every fiber of my being.  He looked like he had fallen asleep again so I tried to slip away and as I did he reached for my hand and told me how good it made him feel inside when I sang just to him.  Grandpop died 3 months later, but that has stayed with me to this day.

God was redeeming and connecting a bitter sweet moment in my life yet again.  Right in Hong Kong, God was using a very vulnerable situation, designed by His hand, to open my heart's eyes to see a new chapter opening.  Singing to my King, just like that little girl sang to her Grandpop all those years ago.  Just He and I!  And as the songs flowed, I could hear Him say, "Sing another one Jill.  I love to hear you sing."  Joy was filling my heart like salve on wounds.  He gave me this voice and the songs to sing, and then He calls me into sing for Him.  What a crazy privilege!  What amazing love!

(Back Story 2)  We walked onto the main floor where most of the happenings for the children took place on any given day.  Peter looked away from us, but there was one little boy who recognized us right away from the family DVD we sent over.  In the DVD, I sang "Amazing Grace" and Thom played his guitar.  He pointed to Thommy and did an air guitar diddy, then he pointed to me and pretended to sing Amazing Grace in a microphone.  He was very insistent that I sing it right then.  As the tune flowed from my soul the children fell silent.  The boy hugged me and called me Mama.  Later, in our early interactions with Peter, singing to him when things were scary calmed him, comforted him.  That's how my son and his friend knew me, by my voice.

What sustaining grace! One of the hardest times of our lives to date and song came back to me.  Life and all the responsibilities sort of squeeze the joy of singing out of me like "one more thing to do".  But there, in Hong Kong it came splashing out.  The joy of the Lord was our strength and it came through song.  God reminded me that out of all the hats that I wear, Wife, Mama, Daughter(in-law), Sister, friend, Worshipper of God was most important and God the creator wanted me to worship Him in song, the Audience of One. As the Holy Spirit revealed this to my soul it seemed like I was walking on clouds.  Thank You Father.

Since coming home from Hong Kong, song seemed to slip away what with all the adjusting going on it seemed sleep was what we did the most.  But as the fog lifted and I heard that still small voice calling me, I was singing and dancing and laughing with my boys upstairs and crying out to God in song downstairs in the music room.  A song of praise is fitting to God my King and it really did and does drive away doubts, fears and sorrow and lifts my gaze once again to the Throne of Grace where at the top of my lungs I say, "Thank You Jesus!  Thank You for the Cross!  Thank you for saving me!"  And as I sing to Him, with or without anyone else around, the 9 year old version of me pours out love and praise to the One who loves me, the One who knows me, the One who made me to sing.  I am not boasting in my ability to sing.  No, I am boasting in the goodness of God and His mercy to His little girl.  I have an abundance of things to sing about in response to all He has done for me.

Psalm 13:6  I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.

AMEN!

Lessons From Hong Kong; Part III

Lesson #3:  In the Moment! 

Peter is a pretty amazing boy.  At just 3 years old his whole world was rocked.  He was adopted by us and taken away from all things familiar and comforting.  And yet, by God's grace, I could see this little guy just enjoying the moment he was in.

When we first met Peter in the childcare home we were prepared for him to reject us and we were not disappointed.  We met him in a private room away from the rest of the population.  He sat on his care giver's lap while the social worker, Christine, spoke softly to him in Cantonese about who we were.  He didn't look up until my husband picked up a ball from a nearby bin of toys and rolled it to him.  With forefinger still in mouth, eyes still cast down, a smile started to emerge and then, father and son were engaged in a game of catch.  At the same time I was in the corner by the toy chest just looking over each toy and placing it back.  Peter approached me and allowed me to hand him a toy and mother and son were laughing and relating.  Of course, it was short lived for as soon as we were together with all the rest of the folks, he was having none of us!

The other moment I remember well was being on the airplane.  For 15 hours Peter was with two very compassionate strangers, sitting in strange seats, eating strange food, watching strange movies and he was as happy as could be.  None of the things that bothered me on the plane or any other person bothered him.  He was thoroughly enjoying the "field trip".  At one point I let him walk around the plane so that I could stretch my legs and so he could move around.  I followed behind this happy guy waving to folks, greeting people, and making sure everyone was properly met.  I remember thinking to myself, "Wow look, the next American Ambassador to China!".  (There was actually a guy in the middle of one of the rows trying hard not to look at Peter.  It didn't deter him!  Peter walked into his aisle and waved right under the guys nose.  The man smiled and laughed as Peter moved on.)  The very next thought was, "I bet God is trying to show me something here".

As Peter lay sleeping on Thommy's lap 35,000 ft. in the air, flying over the North Pole, I asked God what it was that I was seeing.  What came to mind was several pieces of information that I had read during the waiting period of our adoption pertaining to the general character of Down Syndrome folks.  They pretty much live in the moment.  One Doctor told a story of how one of his DS patients would be fretful about the appointment scheduled with him and on the drive over the child would cry and be fitful.  During the visit, the child would be hard to examine and clinging to the parent.  But as soon as the Dr. said, "OK, it's all over now!" the smile would come back on his face, he would wave to the Dr. and the staff, do a dance and go home much happier than he came in.  God was asking me, "Jill is this how you react when all around you changes and becomes uncomfortable?"  My answer was no.

I found myself thinking about how my responses to challenges differ from being like a child. Difficult situations can really bring anxiety, fear, lack of sleep, depression, any number of things.  But when the event resolves and is finished do I let it go and relish the moment, do a dance, rejoice!?  Often, I find myself reliving the moments and thinking of better ways of doing things forgetting to thank God for all the grace that was lavished on me, all the things that I was taught, all the sin confessed.  God was answering my prayers to respond differently to life's struggles that would be pleasing to Him.  Becoming more like a child.

Today was Peter's first Doctor's appointment and Thom and I both went.  He walked around like Mr. Ambassador again, waving to everyone.  He let us undress him, he even let the nurse take his temperature and weight and height.  (He has gained 4 pounds since coming to America and grew 1/2 inch.)  The Doctor came in and he shook her hand and then climbed into Daddy's lap and started to be uncomfortable.  Dr. Kelly was great and helped him along the rest of the examination.  But then came the shots.  3!!!  2 nurses came in wielding needles.  2 shots went in simultaneously and then 1 more.  Peter cried and hugged his Daddy really hard.  Within a minute or 2, he got dressed, clapped his hands and did his little dance. 

As we left, I said a silent prayer thanking God for being Peter's comfort during the visit and for giving me a different way of looking at my son and how God would want me to live in the moment.  When life hits me hard, I want to be on my Father's lap, being held in His trustworthy arms, and when it's too much for me, I want to turn around and look into his lovely Face and hug Him and cry, and then when it is over and He has wiped away all my tears and sets my feet on the ground and takes up my hand and says, "Let's go!, it's all over", I want to do a dance, clap my hands, sing a little tune and praise the Lord and WAVE all the way home.  Thank you Peter for teaching me how to live in the moment. 

Lessons From Hong Kong; Part II

Lesson #2:  My Help Comes from the Lord!  The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Peter's adoption, the whole process, has been one big cry for help.  But it wasn't until this past week that God really cemented it in my spirit.  We as a family have put Psalm 121 to music and love singing it.  God has been moving me from crying out for help to trusting in that help.  What's the origin of this help?  Who am I calling on?

So many times I cry out, "Jesus help me", and then continue to try to figure out what to do.  Somewhere along the way I missed a step.  God was again showing me something about how I see Him verses who He truly is that would radically change my life.

(Back Story 1)  Since we have met Peter, many unforeseen things have happened to us.  I have written about Thom's dad passing away prior to travel, but on the day that our family would be Celebrating Dad's life, my father would have a life altering mini-stroke.  I didn't find out until I got back into the states, turned on the cell phone and had several messages from family needing my immediate attention.  The Monday after we arrived back from Hong Kong, my daughter Emily was out running errands for us in our only car and was in an accident  (she was not injured) which totalled our vehicle.  We couldn't even get to the scene of the accident until someone came and picked us up.  Then on Thursday of our first week home, I pulled a tendon in my shoulder and couldn't even lift our son up.  We have had to borrow cars to get places and lots of decision making regarding the immediate future.   Again, I was crying out, "Jesus Help Us!"

This is not how we envisioned bringing Peter home to the states. But God had a better plan for us, for me.  I learned and am still learning it's not enough to just cry out for help.  At one point recently I was crying out for help and I heard this question resound in my mind, "Do you know who you are asking for help?"  "Do you realize that your help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth?"  I was once again stopped in my tracks with a really dumb look on my face.  Do I really know who I am asking help from?  Clearly, if I did, I would ask and then wait for the help.  Am I doing that?  So I went to the scriptures and re-read Psalm 121.  I am adding it here.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help come fro the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The Sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going our and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

I was stopping at the crying out and not connecting my pleas to the Source of all help, the Lord.  It was like a dark part of my mind had light pouring in to it for the first time.  And the first fruits from this revelation are refreshing. 

1. Instead of blame shifting my problems away because I can't find any good help around me, I need to lift my eyes up to the hills, to the Lord, who made me and all around me, even my circumstances and ask, mindful of who He is and who I am.
2. Asking God and then waiting on God to answer is both vulnerable and humbling but worth it.
3. God is trustworthy in His care of me.
4. God is not in the business of implementing my plans but getting me to see the goodness of His plans.

No, it's not the way we pictured Peter's introduction to our family.  No, we didn't want to be "vehicle-less" at this time.  But, Praise the Lord, it was God's plan to do it this way.  I am safe in my Father's arms.  I don't have to figure out how to help Peter attach to us, God already has His plan in play.  We don't have to figure out how or where we will get the resources for a new van, God already has one for us, will we wait?  Our bodies are outwardly wasting away, but God has called us to this life.  He will not let my foot slip, He watches my coming and going, He will be my shade, He will keep me from all evil, He will keep my life.  This God, the Maker of heaven and earth, is helping me.  What a God, and What a lesson!  So much more than I could see or imagine.

 

Lessons From Hong Kong

LESSON 1:  God's Grace

We have been home now for only about 3 weeks.  Already, God is using the addition of Peter to our mix.  The first thing to say about our time in Hong Kong til now is "God's grace".  One of my favorite lines from the hymn Amazing Grace goes like this:

"'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home"

For us this couldn't be more true.  We went to get Peter so heavy-hearted and God met us in it.  When we awoke on that Sunday morning, we had no idea how God was going to move. 

(Back Story 1)  Our dear friends, the Putnams, approached us several months prior to travel about our trip to Hong Kong.  Tracy told me that she had a friend from college that was Christian and lived with her husband and kids in Hong Kong.  She asked me if I would want to be in contact with her and I was very grateful to be.  Agnes, her husband Desmond and family would impact our lives forever.  God sovereignly placed Agnes in Tracy's life all those years ago with our trip to Hong Kong in view.  God knew exactly what we would need that Sunday so far away from home.  What a gift it was too.

Agnes met us in the lobby of our hotel to take us to a gospel preaching Baptist church of 11,000 members.  I was completely undone as we sang familiar hymns in English while the 65 member choir sang the same in Cantonese.  All I kept thinking about was the grace of God.  Then the Reverend preached from Romans Chpt. 8 and we listened to precious truths that mean so much to us and watched as it resonated in the hearts and souls of our Cantonese brothers and sisters.  For me, it was very hard to stay the flow of tears.  What is it going to sound like in heaven when every tongue and every tribe of people lift up there voices together to praise the Lamb?  Standing there on that day gave me a taste I will never forget. We spent the whole day with this precious family and boy did we laugh.  We were apart of the same eternal family and although we didn't look the same, the aroma of Christ was the same.

We returned to the hotel exhausted and wanting to eat food we understood.  Instead, we just fell asleep.  When we awoke we could feel the gravity pressing us down on the bed.  The grief of Thom's father's death and all the family was going through broke over us like a waterfall.  It was 5 a.m. and our desperation met us as all our burdens and tears poured out to our Father.  We wept together and cried out to Jesus to help us.  During this precious time God led us to repent of self-sufficiency.  The burdens we were feeling and the weight pressing down on us was our attempt to pull off this adoption and just get through each day as it came, somehow in our own strength.  We cried out for forgiveness and started piling all our cares, all our fears, all our brokenness before our Father and the gravity lifted and peace overcame us.

Our first lesson on foreign soil was to Trust in the Lord with all of our heart, Lean not on our own understanding, in ALL our ways Acknowledge Him and He made our path straight. Such a weighty subject and yet somehow we just felt lighter.  And since coming home, trusting God has become a practice with each day where we lay our burdens at His feet desperate for His Fatherly comfort and care.  Thank you Father for your sanctifying grace and your sustaining grace.  Thank you Jesus for saving grace.  Thank you for the grace of adoption! 

Life With Peter! A New Chapter

Welcome Home Peter!  We have waited so long to say that to you my dear son.  And here you are!  You are trying to figure us out and we are trying to figure you out.  And as we are being sanctified in grace together as a family we are finding our God strong and mighty.  We are weak and dependent on the Only One who can save, the only One who can bring an orphan half way across the world and put him into a new family.  Everything is new to you dear and by God's grace you are handling it just fine.

Daddy and Mommy are confident in only one thing.  GOD!  We are convinced that anything with man is impossible, but with God, ALL things are possible.  And as we lean ourselves into God's bosom we find peace, comfort and direction for our new family of six.  You see Peter, we know that with each addition to our family comes the challenge of change to our way of doing things.  Well Peter, you will find out sooner than later that Daddy and Mommy are slow to change and it wrinkles at our desire to have ease and comfort.  And not just us but all of us are struggling with it.  This is God's very good plan for the Inglin family.

With every change comes more prayers being prayed, more honest confession of sin, more gazing at the Cross of Jesus and finding forgiveness and strength.  But perhaps, dear boy, the most precious of all realities is that we can do nothing in our own strength and abilities.  God has delighted in showing us that over these months that we have waited to embrace you.  And now when we run into God's presence you come along too.  This journey that we are on together is just that, a journey, not a jaunt.  It's a delicious 7 course meal and not drive-thru at McDonald's.  Each turn, each detour, every new landmark is a gift from God. 

Being around you for such a short time has made me appreciate delay!  Details are important to you and so they become important to all of us.  It could be that we have to buy more expensive diapers to accommodate your incredible flexibility, you know the ones that have leak guards.  Or maybe it's learning some new signs together so that you can be understood better.   Going places in a hurry just doesn't happen anymore.  You know what Bud?  Doing things well with love that earns your smile and high-five is totally what we signed up for. 

We are all finding "our" way of loving you as well.  Eliot just can't stop hugging and kissing you.  Sometimes it bothers you and you hit or even bite him.  Most of the time, you both just laugh and play together.  You bring out your brother's tender and protective side.  He loves you fiercely already.  Megan makes you laugh when she plays with you and tickles you.  Right now, she seems to be a favorite, especially if you don't like what I'm feeding you.  Emily always gets a kiss on the nose from you.  We all get kisses on the lips but she gets it on the nose.  You love looking at her and she delights in you.  Daddy just loves having both his boys together in the same house.  He truly loves everything about you and I think you love everything about him too.  We really study each other don't we?  You and I are already building trust between us.  I love how discerning you are and how you can understand so quickly.  I loved being at the playground recently when you were afraid you looked for me and reached for me.  It made me cry.  I guess our favorite thing to do as a family is swim in our little blow up pool in the back yard.  We just love splashing and laughing together.

We haven't rushed into your introduction to the medical field yet.  All your care givers from Mother's choice gave us plenty to do while we unfold together as a family.  It is really a very lazy summer just slathering love on each other.  Praise, music and laughter seem to head the chapter of this new beginning.  And as we learn new things along with you Peter we will always hold out God to you as the Author of our lives together and in this truth we will find real joy that lasts forever. 

So I say goodnight to you son!  As I listen to your snuffly snore on the baby monitor and turn to bed myself I am compelled to say, "Thank You God!  Thank you for all the challenges, all the changes, all the newness, all of You.  Thank You for making us a family, and thank You for keeping us with Your steadfast love and mercy.  Peter is just perfect for our family.  AWESOME God!  We love you!"  What will tomorrow bring?  I can't wait to wake up and see.

Merciful Acts of Sacrifice!

My breath has been taken away as I encountered joyful servants of the Lord!  The men, women and children of Mother's Choice Childcare Home have the aroma of Jesus about them and when you look into their eyes that's exactly who you see, Jesus.  The picture I can paint of these servants and their acts of kindness to children with special needs is this:

Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity.  Ps 133:1

That's exactly what we have been experiencing since July 18th when we walked into MC to meet our Peter for the very first time.  They were all so very excited for him and for us.  As we walked by each care giver or volunteer they thanked us for giving Peter a home, asked us questions and then encouraged us about our son very specifically.  We went on a field trip with about 12 little DS children and it was a flawless operation.  No arguing or complaining among the staff, just team work and other's focus.  The children are well loved.  Our Peter loves them very much.  He knew us and waved to us as we met him in a private room with our SW Christine and a personal care giver of Peter's.  They really wanted our first visit to be very successful and so they lovingly guided our first visit and by the end of our time, Peter was warming up to us. 

All the Therapists met with us and told us about Peter.  They were professional and very warm, thoroughly explaining each therapy with joy and excellence.  Thom and I will never forget the details of Peter's care because of the proficient way it was brought to us.

Tomorrow Peter will move off the ward forever and will have a special ceremony commemorating the event.  We will walk to each area of MC and say good-bye to every room.  Then we will leave with a suitcase full of Peter's things and a heart full of praise to God for his kindness to one little orphan boy and all his friends.  Peter has been dearly loved and studied.  They know him, and after being around these new found heroes, we know Peter a little bit better too.  They have encouraged us that we are just what Peter needs, a Daddy and a Mommy that love him.  And, because of the love they have shown him, Peter will be able to love again.  I have said over and over again to Thommy and Christine,

"I want to earn one of the smiles and receive the warm greetings that Peter gives to these wonderful folks!  Then we'll know that he has fallen in love with us."

Thank you all for your prayers and support of us.  We have been blessed more than we could have thought or imagined while here in Hong Kong.

Gives and Takes Away

One of my favorite worship songs is entitled "Blessed Be Your Name".  The bridge is simple and goes like this;

"You give and take away. You give and take away! My heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed be your name."

Tomorrow, Thom and I will be boarding the plane bound for Hong Kong.  And like everything in Peter's adoption process, with the sweet comes the bitter.  This morning July 14, at 2:30am, Thom's Dad, Raymond Thomas Inglin went to be with the Lord.  It's like we looked away for a second and God drew our attention back to Him.  Nothing about getting Peter is or has been done in our understanding or our strength.  What a place of desperation we found ourselves in!  Do we reschedule our appointment?  Do we stay and support the family?  Do we go?   Both of these directions are good and pleasing to God.  Both considerations and questions are viable options.  Which do we choose?

Back in the beginning of this blog post I told the story about how our Pastor, CB Eder, came over and counseled and prayed with us as we wrangled with the decision as to whether or not to adopt a child with DS.  It all came down to knowing that we know that God had called us to adopt for sure and for certain.  God has brought that moment  to our minds over and over again with every decision or opposition we faced in this 16 month process and He brought us here again today in this very real-life scenario.  God was at it again! He was teaching us how to discern, not presume what the path to take would be.  He did it in 2 very specific ways.

1.  Counsel:  I can't thank God enough for both of our Pastors, Cb Eder and Ben Ross.  This morning in the early hours, Ben helped us sort out what was the difference between the fear of man and the fear of the Lord.  How was our thinking lining up with the call God had given us?  Which direction would bring most glory to God?  Slowly as we prayerfully sought Ben's wisdom, the Holy Spirit clearly lighted the path.

2.  Confirmation:  We know that not everybody will understand our decision to go.  We know that we may never be forgiven by some and confirmed by others.  But we remembered the man, Dad Inglin, and the fact that his whole legacy was about helping the orphan, the poor, those in prison, those in need.  And God showed us that by going to Hong Kong and getting Peter we would be bringing great glory to God and honor to Thom's Dad.  Soon after these hours of crying out to God, the phone rang and it was Thom's Mom, Peg Inglin.  She was crying and said she wanted us to go and celebrate life by getting Peter.  That would be Dad's wishes. What pure and holy kindness was shown to us in that moment.

Dad is really going to be missed.  He was devoted to God, the church and His family.  His time here on earth is done and he is truly free!  In God's perfect ways, which are not our ways, He took Dad home.  And while we will all grieve his loss for seasons to come God has given us something good to help ease our pain, Peter and much more, Himself.  God gives and takes away and doesn't need our permission in the process.  But He does lavish us with steadfast love and comfort and promises that in the valley, He will never leave us or forsake us.

So we joyfully go completely released to pick up our son and completely released to honor Thom's Dad in our grief all the while nestled into the nail-scarred hands of our Savior Jesus, completely weak, completely dependent and completely aware that only God can make bitter-sweet, Beautiful.  Please pray for our family that we would be comforted during this time.  That through the giving and the taking many will come to know Jesus.

Setting Our Sites!

Everything is unpacked and put away.  By God's grace we just finished the last of our graduation celebrations with our dear church family.  We laughed, we cried, we set-up, we tore down and we will bring left-overs to church tomorrow for the coffee time.  What a beautiful celebration and what great glory was given to God by our Pastors, Ben and CB, our families, our church.  Our graduates are well prayed for and well prepared to be those arrows that are shot out into the world for the gospel.  And we parents, will be there for the whole ride.  Sweet, sweet time.

Yet I found myself wanting to go and get Peter.  Our Eliot was running around with all the other kids at the party today and telling them that Daddy and Mommy were going to get Peter and bring him home forever.  He is so excited to begin his life with Peter.  Eliot has NO idea what a special gift God is bringing to him.  A brother!  I can hardly believe it.  Emily and Megan too are looking forward to Peter coming home.  They love, laugh and care for Eliot so well, and because God's love flows through them, they will do the same to Peter.  I can't wait to see what Peter belly-laughs at when they are all around him.

I love to fly.  I feel somehow closer to God.  Thom and I will never have fancy vacation, or great monetary wealth, nothing measurable by the world's standards.  We have Jesus, the Pearl of great price.  We have a Gospel-centered marriage, by God's grace, we have daughters that love the Lord and the church, also by God's grace.  We have home schooled our girls from a Christian perspective K-12, by God's grace.  And here's where life revs up!  We get to do it all over again with our boys, Eliot and Peter.  I am so blown away over this life and these gifts.  Peter isn't even in my home and I already fiercely love him.  God gave him to us and my heart aches to bring him home.

This is my reality by no doing of my own.  God lifted a sinner, dead in her transgressions and sins, from hopeless poverty of soul and breathed life and hope into her.  He gave me a new name and a new life to live and everyday He shows me His great love and I get to do the same for my family.  Oh, I love the way that sounds, my family.  I was alone and He put me in a family.  He made me an Inglin and put me in Christ Community Church.  And for 21 years of family living, I have been able to show God's love and share my life with Thommy, Emily, Megan, Eliot and now Peter.  What a crazy wonderful way to spend my later years in life raising 2 sons made in the image of God! 

The plane won't be the only thing flying on July 15th. . . my heart will be soaring high.  We have set our sites for Hong Kong for the sole purpose to bring this child home and fulfill God's plan for him and put him in our family.  The race is set!  We are coming to the finish line of waiting for Peter.  Soon begins the race of Life with Peter.  Oh, I am so eager to see what good things God has in store for us in the days, weeks, months and years to come. 

Finally Traveling!

We were just pulling into the driveway from completing our paper route.  Thom met us at the door and said, "Why didn't you answer your phone?"  Of course, my phone went dead during the last minutes of the route and I wasn't in touch.  We all came inside and sat down as Thom read another email from Bethany Christian Services (BCS).  This one was so exciting. 

July 15th - 22nd we will be in Hong Kong to get our precious boy Peter!

All of us were screaming and jumping around.  What very good news!   We thanked the Lord right away for His faithfulness to us and to Peter.  We are so much richer than we were a year ago!  Oh, that's right, it was exactly a year ago that we were at a BCS fund raiser thinking about how we were going to come up with all the money we would need.  A woman named Jodi prayed for us and reminded us that God had a plan for Peter and He would work all things together for good for Him and us.  And, exactly 4 years ago on July 18th we landed in Guatemala to get our boy Eliot.  What wonderful timing, what an amazing story God has written.  This is our reality and we are loving it.

So we called the travel agency that BCS uses and booked the flight;  2 going and 3 coming back.  God has helped us raise every penny of the costs so far, and we know that now, in the 11th hour He will not fail us.  We need some assistance for the last details of travel.  We pray that if there is anyone left, who feels led to donate to our travel to get Peter that you would please go to the Reece's Rainbow link on our page and click on the word DONATE.  We may not know who will be contributing.  But when you do remember what Jesus said to the people,

"What you have done to the one of the least of these, my brothers, you have done it to me!"

Thank you all so much.  We are very grateful for all of your prayers, support and help.

Dear Peter!

Dear Peter,

We just received good news.  The High Court Order is complete.  Very soon we will be coming to get you.  All of us are praising God!  We can't wait to come and get you.

Your Daddy and I were talking this morning and said to God, "We just can't wait any longer to hear something.  Please can we hear something today?"  So while your sisters Emily and Megan and I were out delivering our paper route, and Daddy and your brother Eliot were out playing at the playground, God answered our prayer!  We all met at McDonald's and Daddy got us all seated.  He read the email that said the final piece of paperwork came through.  We all whooped and hollered in the restaurant.  What a wonderful blessing for us today!

We also got a precious update from your care givers at the orphanage.  They love you so much.  I can just imagine how happy they are for you Peter.  You have grown so much since March.  They told us all the things that make you, you.  And as we read the email, daddy and I got so excited that we cried.

So many people love you already son!  Every time we are around them they ask, "Have you heard any news yet?"  Then they say, "We can't wait to meet him."  You are going to become a part of a very large family that has been praying throughout this whole process and helping out in any way that they can.
 
So be patient little man!  Continue to do what your care givers are asking you to do.  We have a few more things to get ready and then when the day draws nearer, we will be there!!!!  We can hardly wait.

Love, Mommy

Angel Unaware

We have read so many books on Downs Syndrome (DS), adoption issues and cultural books that this book came as a sweet treat.  My mother-in-law recently re-read this story to continue to prepare her heart for us to bring home Peter. Angel Unaware by Dale Evans Rogers is the book.

Dale Evans Rogers, the famous wife of Roy Rogers gave birth to a little girl named Robin, born with DS.  The book is written from Robin's perspective speaking to God and she called her brief time on the earth, her "mission".  That mission was to set her parents free from worldly cares and learn to lean more on God and also to become a mouth piece for special needs children and later international adoption.

The impact of this little book was deeply felt.  Back when this book was written, they still called children with DS "Mongoloid" and encouraged parents to institutionalize their children.  The medical profession didn't hold out much hope for the Rogers family.  Robin only lived 2 years and died because of heart complications, maybe even something that could be diagnosed and fixed now.  We really do live in an age of medical wonders.  In our country we have whole wings of hospitals devoted to DS as well as organizations for support, information and medical helps.  We have buddy walks and Trisomy 21 conferences.  They didn't!  But because Dale and Roy Rogers took a stand along with many other heroes for DS, our angels can live longer, more fulfilling lives. 

Our little angels are waiting for us to come and get them.  Some are already home, some are just desires stirred in a future dad or mom's heart.  There is so much help available to us.  God is doing something.  He is waking up His slumbering church to the plight of these children with DS, as well as the general populace, and calling us to go!  I can't wait to pick up our little angel.  Every time I look at Peter's pictures, or watch his video for the 100th time, I see a light in those eyes.  God has a purpose for him and many others like him.  I pray for continuing courage for those in the process of adopting one of these precious ones and I pray for obedient hearts to hear the call to adopt and do it.  And who knows, we may just be entertaining Angels unaware!

Please check out Reece's Rainbow (I have a link to the site on this blog) and just look at the little children in need of a family and examine what you are in need of.  Let the Lord challenge you with much travail through prayer and see if there might just be a place in your heart and homes for Ones like these.  If adoption isn't for you, many of us who are preparing to go need financial help.  Maybe that could be a way to help. 

Grateful to be called by God to adopt Peter.  Looking forward to the impact this little life has on us, our family, our church and our community.

A Time for Everything!

Do you remember the list of things to be accomplished in my post "Cake and Eat it Too"?  I'll refresh your memories and mine because God deserves some thankful praise.

Megan's home school graduation 6/18/11
Megan's last Youth camp 6/15 - 18/11
Megan's last piano recital 5/22/11
Megan's permit test  6/3/11 Passed
Graduation celebrations 6/19/11
Emily's 20th birthday 5/31/11
Emily's driver's test 5/21/11 Passed
Pool Registration for Eliot 6/16/11
Coordinating medical teams for Peter (On-going)
Organizing play area for 2 boys (5/11-6/11)
A family baby shower 6/22/11
Mother's day 5/8/11
Father's day 6/19/11
Work related training for Thommy 6/13-17/11

God is so faithful to our family.  I forgot to mention in that list Peter's birthday which was the 7th of  June.  Thank you all for the prayers sent up on our behalf.  God heard everyone of them and answered them in AWESOME fashion as is His way.  What did I learn?

1. I am in control of nothing, not even myself.  God is!
2. When Peter comes home it will be forever and for good
3. There is always more grace.

While at youth camp this last week, I shared a tent with another mom from our youth ministry, Michele Franks.  Normally, you would pass our tent and think 2 giggly girls resided there but not this time.  We were sharing something.  We were sharing the passage of time that our graduates, my Megan and her Blake, have in common.  Most of the time we kept our tears in check, mostly.  We didn't want to miss a single event they were participating in.  Next year, they will not be traveling down to youth camp.  Others will, but time for them has come to move on.  Bitter - sweet isn't it?  And I had plenty of time to be all there and loving every minute of it!

In the meantime I wondered about Peter.  What must he be experiencing right now?  According to a recent email he knows something is up.  Right now he is frightened and needing specific comfort.  Is is health doing OK?  It seems that as I read over his medical history, during this time of year he historically has some upper respiratory stuff happen.  I know he is well cared for.  How will God move on his little heart when he finally meets us?  I pray that it will be positive for him and I hope for us as well, we are going to be together, the Lord willing, a very long time.  God is with him right now, and all the others in his orphanage, watching over them, Vigilant!  Never slumbering!  What capable hands our boy is in!

The list I re-posted is faithful evidence that God exists and that He is in control and cares deeply about the details.  Perfect timing has become a full course meal served by His hand.  Prior to our SW leaving for maternity leave, she sent us an email with a ball park time we would travel.  We rejoiced as it read, late July, early August!  A light at the end of the tunnel.  We emailed our whole family and church, all that have supported us and they sent many emails of encouragement back.  But we still don't know exactly when do we? 

God knows. I trust Him.  And through this process the Father has shown me that I do trust Him.  Each event, every set-back, money raised, money spent, grants, hurdles, tears, all of it produced a greater quantity and quality of faith that says, "that's my Daddy!  He can do everything perfectly!" 

Praise You Father and thank You for making the impossible, possible.  The memories of each event are so sweet and I am more in love with You than ever.  Thank You for the provision of Yourself during all seasons of this process and thank You for working all things together for good.  Thank You for making scripture come alive as I encountered Your faithfulness time and time again.  Thank You that soon we will get Peter.  Thank You for Jesus dying on the cross to pay for my sin and thank You Jesus for Your guidance and keeping.  Thank You for all the hidden details I will never see that You have taken care of on our behalf.  Thank You for adopting me.  I love being a child of God. 

So much more to be thankful for. . .so undone by God's steadfast love towards me!

A Long Rich Process!

Our Social Worker (SW) called and told us she was going on maternity leave and we'd be reassigned to another SW.  Both SW's were going over our case and realized that our FBI clearance, Child Abuse clearance and Fingerprinting needed to be redone.  $200 later we had all the paperwork turned around in a day.  It was at this point that I wanted the process over.  What was supposed to be a 6-9 month process has turned into 15 months.  Our son spent his 3rd birthday in the orphanage that we dearly dreamed we'd celebrate face to face.  After some rather discouraging moments of the soul, I cried out to God asking for the process to be over and for Peter to be home with us forever.

(Jill Picture)  I have been called a very passionate person.  When disappointments come my way I often times do not respond positively initially, rather I react negatively.  My husband calls it the "poor me" phase.  It's during these times when I wait for God alone to speak to me and quiet my soul.  To make sense of the loose ends that have once again entangled me.  After my Father carefully untangles me, wipes my tears away, lifts my gaze to Him, He comforts me as only He can.  For the millionth time He showed me where I was and that is right in the palm of His hand.  SECURE!

God reminded me to look over all the events of this adoption.  To see all the ways He has moved miraculously.  To remember all the lives that have been knitted into Peter's tapestry.  Again very aware that I am not God, He is! and He has everything under control worked out in His timing.  But there was something else.  God doesn't want a bunch of stoics walking around saying, "No, no, I am not sad, or frustrated or mad or disappointed!  God works all things together for good."  He was calling me to bring my sorrows, my disappointments, my fears to Him.  He showed me that He wants to fellowship with me through all of life not just the parts that go according to my plan.  I became freshly aware that God was jealous that my passions would bring praise to Him no matter what I was experiencing or seeing with my natural eye.  That's why He gave me such a heart.

But God, what if something delays the process even further and we have to do the immigration paperwork all over again?  What if all the money you gave us is spent and when it comes time to travel we will be stuck?  What if, What if, What if!  No Peace.  Robbed of joy by 2 little words, "What If". 

(A Prayer) Father, Abba, please quiet my heart!  My mind is too small to even figure out the smallest detail of my own life let alone this whole adoption process.  Please hear my prayers and answer them for I am weary and heavy in spirit.  I cannot wear that "God's in control smile" today!  All I can show is unbelieving tears!  O Jesus, help me in my unbelief to believe!  Strengthen my weak knees and my feeble hands and remind me Holy Spirit whose family I belong to!  Have your full way with me O God!  Love Your trembling Daughter.

Then God brings me here because He loves me:

Psalm 23!  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.  (You are my Abba and You will supply all that I need and take care of all the details) He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me besides still waters.  (You will comfort my troubled soul with tender care)  He restores my soul.  He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.  (The road of adopting Peter seems long, but You are my hope.  You have not let me wander off the path because of Your glory and for my good.)  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (even though it seems like our circumstances are taking a turn) I will fear no evil (I will trust in You) for You are with me (my greatest joy) Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (All through this adoption I am being sanctified and disciplined to follow You and not what I perceive is happening and I am comforted.)  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; (You wipe away every one of my tears.) My cup overflows! (Once again, You have lifted my gaze from the situation and I am looking at Your Beauty and praise and courage pour in.)  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life (I am so grateful for this life, ALL of it, every single bit) and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  (Thank you Father!  Thank you for the tangibleness of these truths!)

My passions are redirected, my knees have been strengthened, my hands made useful and the chaff of all my fears have evaporated.  God did it WITH me and through me as WE faced the fears of my weaknesses.  I still hope that we can get Peter sooner than later, I love him so. . .but for now, I just want to bask in the goodness of my Father and the green pastures and the still waters of this Long Rich Process.