Presumptuous Sins

Presumption #1!  We don't need to include anyone in the decision making process.  Of course God would want us to adopt again especially because of special needs.

Psalm 19:13 says:  "Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!  Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgressions."

It was a different kind of Monday evening at our home.  Eliot was in bed, Emily and Megan were packing the papers for our paper routes downstairs.  Thom and I were upstairs talking through our decision to adopt a special needs child.  It was a hard conversation.  We had never felt challenged like this before in our Christian walk, we didn't even know how to begin to unpack the whirlwind of emotions.  We just knew that we had to find God at the center. 

Around 10 p.m. we were exhausted and were about to go to bed for yet another night's broken sleep when the phone rang.  Our dear friend and Pastor, CB Eder, was calling to see if he could come over and talk with us about our decision.  We accepted and eagerly awaited his arrival.  He was going to be the confirmation that we needed and had been praying for.  CB drew us out with questions like,

"How is it that the two of you are thinking about adopting a special needs child?  I never knew it was on your radar screen."
"What is your motivation?"
"What convincing evidence do you have from God that this isn't just 'the right thing to do' but a Calling from God?"

Wow!  We were praying for a direction to take our thoughts and God sent CB to shepherd us through a long night.  And he stayed into the wee hours of the morning helping us to see that the call was God's and that the call was sure.  He told us that we would get mixed messages about this, the process could be difficult and much different than we expected, but if we knew that we knew that God called us, we would have peace come what may, because God not only called us, He would sustain us.  CB prayed with us and a heavy burden had lifted off of his heart and ours.  Why didn't we get counsel first?  We would have had a lot more sleep.

Presumption #2!  Of course there will be money available in grants and loans and I have a rich brother!  Oh yeah, we could use that credit card that we didn't chop up yet!

Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."

(Back Story 1)  When we were in the process to adopt our son Eliot, we decided, and told our family and friends that we would use our house to bring him home if there wasn't any outside help.  The first $6,000 came from a lien on our home, we got a pretty quick grant from Bethany Christian Services (BCS), one of the churches in our family of churches gave us some help, some friends of church helped with travel costs, and my father-in-law gave us our inheritance for the country cost.  We didn't even need to ask for help.  It was really very easy and we were in and out of Guatemala in 13 months with our boy.  We were in for a big surprise this time.

We had enough money to pay for the home study and all the initial start up costs.  Because we had used BCS with the adoption of Eliot we even got a discount on the home study.  I don't know how many times we had heard that when adopting a special needs child there is a lot more money available from grants and helps and the time moves quicker, but that is not our experience this time.  There was no money available for us until we got the match from Hong Kong officially and by that time the rest of the fees came due for Bethany and USCIS Immigration clearance.  Because of the ease of our first adoption, we found ourselves at a loss as to what to do.

Grateful thought!  So glad that our Pastor helped us to initially clarify the call of God to adopt!

(Back Story 2)  The year after Eliot came home we were struggling financially and arguing quite a bit over money.  Thommy, my husband, spoke with CB (our Pastor and friend) and we were encouraged to sign-up for Financial Peace University (FPU) by Dave Ramsey held at one of our family churches.  We went and it changed how we viewed money.  Then a year later, we went through FPU with our daughter Emily.  

We went to a fund raiser that BCS was holding and I felt hopeless.  Nothing was available to help us and we were frustrated and mad at what we perceived to be untruths.  One of the BCS workers prayed with us and hope was kindled.  She said to us that this process wasn't about us it was about a little orphan that God was going to rescue and He would provide.  God called us, so we set our gaze on the "what to do now" and prayed.  God wanted to teach us that we could completely trust Him in this adoption process.  He was teaching us that waiting on an answer and watching the story unfold was a glorious display of His power and grace and He wanted to thrill us with every nuance, every little detail He was weaving into the fabric of Peter's story.  Yes, God was lifting our gaze and we were beginning to be dazzled by what we were seeing.   

Presumption #3!  Oh, God you don't mean fund raising!

Isaiah 40:21 says, "but they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagle's; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

We quickly realized that God was about to take us on an extraordinary ride.  He was taking us outside our idol of ease and comfort and placing right in the middle of the heat of trusting God.  We knew we were called by God to adopt.  With fear and trembling and lots of talking to ourselves about God's faithfulness we stepped into the crazy world of "UPs and Downs/Feast or Famine Fundraising"! 

Because we were very aware of our presumptuous ways, and stopped looking to our own understanding, and we were finding new strength through waiting on the Lord we saw God weaving a very special story in each one of our lives.  Our Immigration costs came from an unexpected source at great sacrifice to the source.  BCS surprised us with the blessing of making monthly payments towards administrative costs starting in August with the pay off in full by December.  Our daughters approached us in August and gave us their savings.  They reasoned that spending their money on anything other than bringing home their brother would be WRONG!!!  We tried to refuse!  They wouldn't have any of it.  Our church family, who are our personal heroes, participated without delay and with great excitement and generosity.  And with each milestone payment we sang the praises of God.  He was thrilling us and we were growing in trusting Him.

The Fruit of Waiting, Trusting and Not Presuming!

Ephesians 3:20 -21 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or thing, according to the power at work with us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

The fruit of avoiding presumptuous sin, trusting in God with all our hearts, waiting on the Lord, and making sure of the call of God:

1.  The fears subsided surrounding Peter having Down Syndrome as God unfolded a bigger story
2.  Quiet faith replaces presumption
3.  A deeper dependence on God
4.  Folks mobilized and desiring to help orphans
5.  A Gospel culture of adoption is birthed
6.  God gets all the glory!
7.  God was teaching us the beauty of waiting on Him

And God gave us our theme:  God is bringing Peter Home with pennies, nickles and dimes. 

How very kind of God to use this little boy to uncover sin in our hearts, lead us to repent, teach us so much and lavish us with a deeper faith in Him.  We serve an awesome God.