Lessons From Hong Kong; Part III

Lesson #3:  In the Moment! 

Peter is a pretty amazing boy.  At just 3 years old his whole world was rocked.  He was adopted by us and taken away from all things familiar and comforting.  And yet, by God's grace, I could see this little guy just enjoying the moment he was in.

When we first met Peter in the childcare home we were prepared for him to reject us and we were not disappointed.  We met him in a private room away from the rest of the population.  He sat on his care giver's lap while the social worker, Christine, spoke softly to him in Cantonese about who we were.  He didn't look up until my husband picked up a ball from a nearby bin of toys and rolled it to him.  With forefinger still in mouth, eyes still cast down, a smile started to emerge and then, father and son were engaged in a game of catch.  At the same time I was in the corner by the toy chest just looking over each toy and placing it back.  Peter approached me and allowed me to hand him a toy and mother and son were laughing and relating.  Of course, it was short lived for as soon as we were together with all the rest of the folks, he was having none of us!

The other moment I remember well was being on the airplane.  For 15 hours Peter was with two very compassionate strangers, sitting in strange seats, eating strange food, watching strange movies and he was as happy as could be.  None of the things that bothered me on the plane or any other person bothered him.  He was thoroughly enjoying the "field trip".  At one point I let him walk around the plane so that I could stretch my legs and so he could move around.  I followed behind this happy guy waving to folks, greeting people, and making sure everyone was properly met.  I remember thinking to myself, "Wow look, the next American Ambassador to China!".  (There was actually a guy in the middle of one of the rows trying hard not to look at Peter.  It didn't deter him!  Peter walked into his aisle and waved right under the guys nose.  The man smiled and laughed as Peter moved on.)  The very next thought was, "I bet God is trying to show me something here".

As Peter lay sleeping on Thommy's lap 35,000 ft. in the air, flying over the North Pole, I asked God what it was that I was seeing.  What came to mind was several pieces of information that I had read during the waiting period of our adoption pertaining to the general character of Down Syndrome folks.  They pretty much live in the moment.  One Doctor told a story of how one of his DS patients would be fretful about the appointment scheduled with him and on the drive over the child would cry and be fitful.  During the visit, the child would be hard to examine and clinging to the parent.  But as soon as the Dr. said, "OK, it's all over now!" the smile would come back on his face, he would wave to the Dr. and the staff, do a dance and go home much happier than he came in.  God was asking me, "Jill is this how you react when all around you changes and becomes uncomfortable?"  My answer was no.

I found myself thinking about how my responses to challenges differ from being like a child. Difficult situations can really bring anxiety, fear, lack of sleep, depression, any number of things.  But when the event resolves and is finished do I let it go and relish the moment, do a dance, rejoice!?  Often, I find myself reliving the moments and thinking of better ways of doing things forgetting to thank God for all the grace that was lavished on me, all the things that I was taught, all the sin confessed.  God was answering my prayers to respond differently to life's struggles that would be pleasing to Him.  Becoming more like a child.

Today was Peter's first Doctor's appointment and Thom and I both went.  He walked around like Mr. Ambassador again, waving to everyone.  He let us undress him, he even let the nurse take his temperature and weight and height.  (He has gained 4 pounds since coming to America and grew 1/2 inch.)  The Doctor came in and he shook her hand and then climbed into Daddy's lap and started to be uncomfortable.  Dr. Kelly was great and helped him along the rest of the examination.  But then came the shots.  3!!!  2 nurses came in wielding needles.  2 shots went in simultaneously and then 1 more.  Peter cried and hugged his Daddy really hard.  Within a minute or 2, he got dressed, clapped his hands and did his little dance. 

As we left, I said a silent prayer thanking God for being Peter's comfort during the visit and for giving me a different way of looking at my son and how God would want me to live in the moment.  When life hits me hard, I want to be on my Father's lap, being held in His trustworthy arms, and when it's too much for me, I want to turn around and look into his lovely Face and hug Him and cry, and then when it is over and He has wiped away all my tears and sets my feet on the ground and takes up my hand and says, "Let's go!, it's all over", I want to do a dance, clap my hands, sing a little tune and praise the Lord and WAVE all the way home.  Thank you Peter for teaching me how to live in the moment. 

Lessons From Hong Kong; Part II

Lesson #2:  My Help Comes from the Lord!  The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Peter's adoption, the whole process, has been one big cry for help.  But it wasn't until this past week that God really cemented it in my spirit.  We as a family have put Psalm 121 to music and love singing it.  God has been moving me from crying out for help to trusting in that help.  What's the origin of this help?  Who am I calling on?

So many times I cry out, "Jesus help me", and then continue to try to figure out what to do.  Somewhere along the way I missed a step.  God was again showing me something about how I see Him verses who He truly is that would radically change my life.

(Back Story 1)  Since we have met Peter, many unforeseen things have happened to us.  I have written about Thom's dad passing away prior to travel, but on the day that our family would be Celebrating Dad's life, my father would have a life altering mini-stroke.  I didn't find out until I got back into the states, turned on the cell phone and had several messages from family needing my immediate attention.  The Monday after we arrived back from Hong Kong, my daughter Emily was out running errands for us in our only car and was in an accident  (she was not injured) which totalled our vehicle.  We couldn't even get to the scene of the accident until someone came and picked us up.  Then on Thursday of our first week home, I pulled a tendon in my shoulder and couldn't even lift our son up.  We have had to borrow cars to get places and lots of decision making regarding the immediate future.   Again, I was crying out, "Jesus Help Us!"

This is not how we envisioned bringing Peter home to the states. But God had a better plan for us, for me.  I learned and am still learning it's not enough to just cry out for help.  At one point recently I was crying out for help and I heard this question resound in my mind, "Do you know who you are asking for help?"  "Do you realize that your help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth?"  I was once again stopped in my tracks with a really dumb look on my face.  Do I really know who I am asking help from?  Clearly, if I did, I would ask and then wait for the help.  Am I doing that?  So I went to the scriptures and re-read Psalm 121.  I am adding it here.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help come fro the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The Sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going our and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

I was stopping at the crying out and not connecting my pleas to the Source of all help, the Lord.  It was like a dark part of my mind had light pouring in to it for the first time.  And the first fruits from this revelation are refreshing. 

1. Instead of blame shifting my problems away because I can't find any good help around me, I need to lift my eyes up to the hills, to the Lord, who made me and all around me, even my circumstances and ask, mindful of who He is and who I am.
2. Asking God and then waiting on God to answer is both vulnerable and humbling but worth it.
3. God is trustworthy in His care of me.
4. God is not in the business of implementing my plans but getting me to see the goodness of His plans.

No, it's not the way we pictured Peter's introduction to our family.  No, we didn't want to be "vehicle-less" at this time.  But, Praise the Lord, it was God's plan to do it this way.  I am safe in my Father's arms.  I don't have to figure out how to help Peter attach to us, God already has His plan in play.  We don't have to figure out how or where we will get the resources for a new van, God already has one for us, will we wait?  Our bodies are outwardly wasting away, but God has called us to this life.  He will not let my foot slip, He watches my coming and going, He will be my shade, He will keep me from all evil, He will keep my life.  This God, the Maker of heaven and earth, is helping me.  What a God, and What a lesson!  So much more than I could see or imagine.

 

Lessons From Hong Kong

LESSON 1:  God's Grace

We have been home now for only about 3 weeks.  Already, God is using the addition of Peter to our mix.  The first thing to say about our time in Hong Kong til now is "God's grace".  One of my favorite lines from the hymn Amazing Grace goes like this:

"'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home"

For us this couldn't be more true.  We went to get Peter so heavy-hearted and God met us in it.  When we awoke on that Sunday morning, we had no idea how God was going to move. 

(Back Story 1)  Our dear friends, the Putnams, approached us several months prior to travel about our trip to Hong Kong.  Tracy told me that she had a friend from college that was Christian and lived with her husband and kids in Hong Kong.  She asked me if I would want to be in contact with her and I was very grateful to be.  Agnes, her husband Desmond and family would impact our lives forever.  God sovereignly placed Agnes in Tracy's life all those years ago with our trip to Hong Kong in view.  God knew exactly what we would need that Sunday so far away from home.  What a gift it was too.

Agnes met us in the lobby of our hotel to take us to a gospel preaching Baptist church of 11,000 members.  I was completely undone as we sang familiar hymns in English while the 65 member choir sang the same in Cantonese.  All I kept thinking about was the grace of God.  Then the Reverend preached from Romans Chpt. 8 and we listened to precious truths that mean so much to us and watched as it resonated in the hearts and souls of our Cantonese brothers and sisters.  For me, it was very hard to stay the flow of tears.  What is it going to sound like in heaven when every tongue and every tribe of people lift up there voices together to praise the Lamb?  Standing there on that day gave me a taste I will never forget. We spent the whole day with this precious family and boy did we laugh.  We were apart of the same eternal family and although we didn't look the same, the aroma of Christ was the same.

We returned to the hotel exhausted and wanting to eat food we understood.  Instead, we just fell asleep.  When we awoke we could feel the gravity pressing us down on the bed.  The grief of Thom's father's death and all the family was going through broke over us like a waterfall.  It was 5 a.m. and our desperation met us as all our burdens and tears poured out to our Father.  We wept together and cried out to Jesus to help us.  During this precious time God led us to repent of self-sufficiency.  The burdens we were feeling and the weight pressing down on us was our attempt to pull off this adoption and just get through each day as it came, somehow in our own strength.  We cried out for forgiveness and started piling all our cares, all our fears, all our brokenness before our Father and the gravity lifted and peace overcame us.

Our first lesson on foreign soil was to Trust in the Lord with all of our heart, Lean not on our own understanding, in ALL our ways Acknowledge Him and He made our path straight. Such a weighty subject and yet somehow we just felt lighter.  And since coming home, trusting God has become a practice with each day where we lay our burdens at His feet desperate for His Fatherly comfort and care.  Thank you Father for your sanctifying grace and your sustaining grace.  Thank you Jesus for saving grace.  Thank you for the grace of adoption! 

Life With Peter! A New Chapter

Welcome Home Peter!  We have waited so long to say that to you my dear son.  And here you are!  You are trying to figure us out and we are trying to figure you out.  And as we are being sanctified in grace together as a family we are finding our God strong and mighty.  We are weak and dependent on the Only One who can save, the only One who can bring an orphan half way across the world and put him into a new family.  Everything is new to you dear and by God's grace you are handling it just fine.

Daddy and Mommy are confident in only one thing.  GOD!  We are convinced that anything with man is impossible, but with God, ALL things are possible.  And as we lean ourselves into God's bosom we find peace, comfort and direction for our new family of six.  You see Peter, we know that with each addition to our family comes the challenge of change to our way of doing things.  Well Peter, you will find out sooner than later that Daddy and Mommy are slow to change and it wrinkles at our desire to have ease and comfort.  And not just us but all of us are struggling with it.  This is God's very good plan for the Inglin family.

With every change comes more prayers being prayed, more honest confession of sin, more gazing at the Cross of Jesus and finding forgiveness and strength.  But perhaps, dear boy, the most precious of all realities is that we can do nothing in our own strength and abilities.  God has delighted in showing us that over these months that we have waited to embrace you.  And now when we run into God's presence you come along too.  This journey that we are on together is just that, a journey, not a jaunt.  It's a delicious 7 course meal and not drive-thru at McDonald's.  Each turn, each detour, every new landmark is a gift from God. 

Being around you for such a short time has made me appreciate delay!  Details are important to you and so they become important to all of us.  It could be that we have to buy more expensive diapers to accommodate your incredible flexibility, you know the ones that have leak guards.  Or maybe it's learning some new signs together so that you can be understood better.   Going places in a hurry just doesn't happen anymore.  You know what Bud?  Doing things well with love that earns your smile and high-five is totally what we signed up for. 

We are all finding "our" way of loving you as well.  Eliot just can't stop hugging and kissing you.  Sometimes it bothers you and you hit or even bite him.  Most of the time, you both just laugh and play together.  You bring out your brother's tender and protective side.  He loves you fiercely already.  Megan makes you laugh when she plays with you and tickles you.  Right now, she seems to be a favorite, especially if you don't like what I'm feeding you.  Emily always gets a kiss on the nose from you.  We all get kisses on the lips but she gets it on the nose.  You love looking at her and she delights in you.  Daddy just loves having both his boys together in the same house.  He truly loves everything about you and I think you love everything about him too.  We really study each other don't we?  You and I are already building trust between us.  I love how discerning you are and how you can understand so quickly.  I loved being at the playground recently when you were afraid you looked for me and reached for me.  It made me cry.  I guess our favorite thing to do as a family is swim in our little blow up pool in the back yard.  We just love splashing and laughing together.

We haven't rushed into your introduction to the medical field yet.  All your care givers from Mother's choice gave us plenty to do while we unfold together as a family.  It is really a very lazy summer just slathering love on each other.  Praise, music and laughter seem to head the chapter of this new beginning.  And as we learn new things along with you Peter we will always hold out God to you as the Author of our lives together and in this truth we will find real joy that lasts forever. 

So I say goodnight to you son!  As I listen to your snuffly snore on the baby monitor and turn to bed myself I am compelled to say, "Thank You God!  Thank you for all the challenges, all the changes, all the newness, all of You.  Thank You for making us a family, and thank You for keeping us with Your steadfast love and mercy.  Peter is just perfect for our family.  AWESOME God!  We love you!"  What will tomorrow bring?  I can't wait to wake up and see.